What is Premature Ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation explained

The definition of premature ejaculation (PE) is ejaculating before you or your partner are ready during intercourse. Ejaculating within 3 minutes of intercourse is generally considered to be premature ejaculation. But the reality is that whether it is 3 minutes or 20 minutes, premature ejaculation is not lasting long enough for you and your partner to feel fulfilled sexually.

From losing your self-confidence to your partner's desire to connect sexually, premature ejaculation often leads to a sexless marriage and the demise of many relationships. I believe in sharing knowledge that truly empowers people, so in this article I address the most frequently asked questions about premature ejaculation. This includes what you need to do to stop premature ejaculation from happening so you can time your ejaculation, connect with confidence, and satisfy your partner in bed.

how to prevent premature ejaculation without medication

When does premature ejaculation happen?

Men can ejaculate prematurely before foreplay, while giving foreplay, receiving foreplay, applying a condom, during penetration, during intercourse and when changing sexual position. Premature ejaculation also happens for many men during masturbation. Studies indicate that up to 80% of men suffer from sexual dysfunction problems including premature ejaculation.

How long should I last before I ejaculate?

While lasting for five minutes is considered to be "average" for men during intercourse that is not at all optimal because most women take 15-20 minutes to reach an orgasm! One of the reasons many women are unable to orgasm during intercourse is because their man doesn't have the ability to in control without ejaculating. In addition to this, most women don't know how to focus their attention correctly to complete the orgasm program in their brain.

What's most important in an intimate relationship is a fulfilling emotional connection where both partners are able to express themselves and enjoy their sexual time together with the end result of feeling engaged and fulfilled sexually. The desire to reach an ultimate level of connection is why most men want premature ejaculation explained - so they know how to naturally last longer and achieve mutual satisfaction.

premature ejaculation explained

What premature ejaculation means

Premature ejaculation means that a male has little or no control over his sexual experience. It's not his fault, it simply means that he is missing some important knowledge. If you suffer from PE, please understand you are NOT broken, you just need premature ejaculation explained so you can advance your sex education, naturally last longer and achieve sex mastery.

Premature ejaculation and anxiety explained

Most males and females have not been taught a sex education relative to engaging sexually so there is much confusion and guesswork involved! Not knowing what to switch your attention between can cause premature ejaculation anxiety. By updating your knowledge base and applying the correct sexual technique, thoughts around ejaculating prematurely will significantly be reduced and with practice you can eliminate PE (and the related anxiety) completely.

Main causes of early ejaculation

Having your penis ejaculate before you are ready generally indicates that you are focusing your attention incorrectly during sexual activity. The timing of when you ejaculate depends on how you are focusing your attention before foreplay, during foreplay, leading up to penetration, applying a condom, during penetration, during intercourse, and also during changes of sexual position. Too much attention on your own experience will heighten your awareness of sensation in your penis and cause you to ejaculate early.

Premature ejaculation timing explained

These are the 10 most common causes of premature ejaculation timing explained (from the male point of view) for each part of the sexual act; and the focus imbalances which lead to PE:

1. Ejaculating before foreplay

When you ejaculate before foreplay, chances are that you have been overly focused on yourself. Whether you are worrying about your penis (or trying not to worry about it), how aroused you are feeling, or overindulging in images of sexual fantasies and the sensations in your penis, any of these focal points can overwhelm your senses to the point where you ejaculate far too early.

2. Ejaculating during foreplay

Ejaculating during foreplay indicates you are overly focusing on how arousing your partner is and how aroused you are feeling, trying not to think about ejaculating and worrying about ejaculating. This indulgence in your own experience overstimulates your brain sexually.

ejaculating when putting a condom on

3. Ejaculating when putting a condom on or applying lubrication

Ejaculating when putting a condom on or when applying lubrication, tends to be caused by overly focusing on how aroused you are feeling, how overstimulated you are and trying not to think about ejaculating. See how there's a common thread of self-focus going on here?

4. Ejaculating at the start of penetration

Ejaculating at the start of penetration indicates you have focused too much on yourself during foreplay, or how arousing your partner is - and trying not to think about ejaculating as you penetrate! A dry entry increases friction and increases the likelihood of over stimulating your brain sexually at penetration time.

5. Ejaculating while changing position

When you ejaculate while changing position, you are either focusing too much on how arousing your partner is, how aroused you are feeling, worrying about ejaculating, and trying not to think about ejaculating early. You cannot try not to think about a black car without thinking about a black car, and the same is true regarding arousal of your penis.

6. Ejaculating during intercourse

When you ejaculate during intercourse, you are switching back too frequently to thoughts about your penis - either worrying about ejaculating, trying not to think about ejaculating, or trying not to focus on the sensations in your penis and how arousing your partner and/or intercourse are for you.

7. Ejaculating early during foreplay, putting a condom on, at the start of penetration and during intercourse

Ejaculating early during all sexual activity, indicates that you are way too focused on your own experience! Worrying about ejaculating and trying not to think about ejaculating both send your brain clear signals that ejaculation is the program you want your brain to initiate. 

8. Premature ejaculation with erectile dysfunction

Feeling over stimulated during foreplay, then losing your erection at the start of penetration indicates you are focusing too much on how aroused you are feeling during foreplay, then trying not to feel over aroused during foreplay, then overcompensating your change of focus to the point of losing your hard erection! Worrying about losing your erection before you penetrate can also cause this problem. In addition to this, when the muscles which support a strong erection become weak, it can take longer to restore a hard erection after ejaculating early.

9. Premature ejaculation and ED during intercourse

Feeling over stimulated during foreplay, putting a condom on and at the start of penetration and then losing erection hardness during intercourse results from focusing too much on how aroused you are feeling during foreplay, worrying about ejaculating (and trying not to think about ejaculating at the start of penetration), then trying not to feel overstimulated during intercourse and worrying about losing your erection during intercourse. Too much focus either way will cause PE or ED.

10. Premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction explained

Premature ejaculation is predominantly caused by a male being overly focused on himself, thinking about how aroused he is feeling or how arousing his partner is, worrying about ejaculating early and trying not to think about ejaculating early.

The problem here is that most men haven't received a sex education relevant to completing a sexual act. Therefore, when a man finds himself starting to feel like he's losing control he doesn't know what to switch his focus from, and to. This can lead to an erectile dysfunction (weak erection) issue as he wildly catapults himself from one end of the sexual arousal scale to the other with no fun in between.

As you know, this kind of sex is not fulfilling for either partner. Sex can become an embarrassing and labor intensive process as a man desperately tries to control the awareness of feeling in his penis so he can focus on completing the job.

How to prevent premature ejaculation without medication

It's important to understand that wrong sexual focus causes premature ejaculation and many other forms of sexual dysfunction including erectile dysfunction and being unable to ejaculate or reach orgasm. Therefore, to prevent premature ejaculation without medication a male needs to upgrade his knowledge and skill base so he can correctly balance his sexual focus between himself, his partner and the actions of sex. This gives him the control he seeks.

Many clients have told me it is extremely satisfying to prevent premature ejaculation without medication!

How to stop premature ejaculation naturally and permanently

Can I cure premature ejaculation?

Learning how to control your movement along the sexual arousal scale and correctly balancing your sexual focus between yourself, your partner, and the actions of sex will stop confusing your brain so you naturally last longer and therefore cure premature ejaculation. Being able to delay ejaculation until you and your partner are ready is both ideal and completely attainable when you apply the correct knowledge and technique. 

How to stop premature ejaculation naturally and permanently

For a male to stop premature ejaculation naturally and permanently he needs to understand the sexual arousal scale and how to correctly balance his sexual focus throughout all sexual activity. Giving his brain the correct balance of sexually arousing "signals" throughout foreplay, penetration, intercourse with a partner, as well as masturbation activates the correct hormones and muscle programs to give him complete control over his penis.

How to cure premature ejaculation and last longer in bed

By correctly balancing his sexual focus throughout sexual activity, a man's brain can activate the relevant sexual programs and keep them engaged in the preferred order: Erection - Hard and in Control - Ejaculation. 


Premature ejaculation and women

Lasting long enough can be challenging, especially if his partner has difficulty reaching an orgasm. The 80% of women who have problems reaching an orgasm during intercourse will usually rely on an extended amount of foreplay time to feel sexually fulfilled.

the best cure for premature ejaculation

Staying hard and in control for your woman

How many times do you find yourself panicking when your partner starts making happy noises? Not only can this make you feel excessively turned on, it indicates that the request for penetration will soon be forthcoming! This can lead to a great deal of performance anxiety for a man who is already concerned about his ability to last long enough and can intensify the pressure he is feeling.

During foreplay a woman's male partner needs to stay hard and in control for the required duration. It may be 10, 20, 30 or more minutes before she is ready for penetrative intercourse, however when she is ready she expects her partner to be ready too! 

Correctly balancing your sexual focus during foreplay makes penetration easy and when penetration is easy, you naturally experience less performance anxiety which then enables you to stay hard and in control so you can last longer during intercourse. 

The best cure for premature ejaculation

The best cure for premature ejaculation is to focus on the actions of fulfilling your partner. This enables you to maintain and enjoy a fulfilling emotional connection while you naturally stay in control of when you ejaculate.  

There is a fine balance here however, because too much focus on your partner can cause you to lose your hard erection! In addition to this, if your mind wanders during sex you can lose your erection or lose control, depending on how you try to compensate when you realize you have lost focus.

Accidental ejaculation happens when your brain receives the incorrect ratio of sexually arousing signals or it is receiving signals in the wrong order (or the signals are unrelated to the sexual act you are performing). Balancing your sexual focus requires slight adjustments throughout foreplay, penetration, and intercourse to ensure you stay hard and in control.

Just like when you are learning to drive a car, focusing on the wrong thing at the wrong time can cause accidents. To cure premature ejaculation you need to know how to smoothly move through the gears in the right order with the right timing. This enables an enjoyable and satisfying experience for you and your partner.

premature ejaculation during foreplay

How to fix premature ejaculation (in summary)

Ideally a man can last for 20-30 minutes during foreplay as well as intercourse to ensure he is able to totally fulfill himself and his partner sexually. To achieve this and fix premature ejaculation requires upgrading his knowledge and skill base with the correct knowledge and technique. 

Recommended by medical professionals and with a 6-month guarantee to ensure a man's success sexually, my Sex Mastery Hard AND in Control program for men is 100% private and confidential and accessed online. As well as discovering how to stay in control of when you ejaculate during foreplay, penetration, intercourse, and masturbation, you will learn how to correctly balance your sexual focus so losing erection hardness or being unable to ejaculate are eliminated too. (You would be surprised how many of my clients went from ejaculating within seconds of penetration to not being able to ejaculate for more than an hour, after going through my program!)

One payment gives you lifetime access so you can fix premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, with informative resources provided to keep as back-up. I also have a Sex Mastery program for women if you have a female partner who struggles to reach an orgasm.

I couldn’t believe it! After a lifetime of ejaculating within a minute (and for the past 5 years losing my erection hardness within one minute as well) I was able to stay HARD AND IN CONTROL for over 10 minutes – just 4 days after my session with Jacqui – and the next time I had sex! It’s blown my mind! Every male should have this education!

Dr Sam (surname withheld)

Medical Specialist - Solved PE and ED

With premature ejaculation explained, you now know that wrong sexual focus is probably causing your PE and ED, and it's time to take action to end the problem! A satisfying sex life can be easily achieved, all it takes is a few simple tweaks to your approach to sex and intimacy.

Check out my Sex Mastery Hard AND in Control program for men, or book in for a complimentary 20-minute strategy session if you prefer to work 1/1 with me to quickly restore satisfaction in this important area of your life! I have total confidence my unique insights will set you and a partner up sexually for life.

Related: The 3 Best Premature Ejaculation Cures


Developer of the Psychosexual Alignment method and published author, Jacqui Olliver has helped thousands of men, women and couples restore emotional and sexual satisfaction in their lives. Click here to check out her programs or to book a complimentary strategy session so you can save time, stride forward with confidence, and enjoy a happy and fulfilling life.

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