The Emotional Reset Technique – The Secret to Enjoying Life

Unlock Your Happiness with the Emotional Reset Technique

Have you ever wondered what makes you feel separate and misunderstood? You try so hard to communicate your needs, but you still don’t feel heard. You try to stay calm when your heart’s madly racing and keep your words carefully modulated - but people still react to them! And then you find yourself reacting to their reaction  - and nothing is ever resolved! So why does it feel like there are invisible walls which make you feel isolated and prevent you from connecting with others?

emotional reset technique

The answer lies in the emotional response. This is an integral human reaction, which every person experiences - in many cases it's triggered 40+ times per day. Unresolved emotional responses create invisible walls of resistance and the feeling of separation and isolation. Yet, each emotional response which is consciously resolved in the moment can become an instant catalyst to feeling happy, balanced and aligned within yourself. From this state, it is natural to feel more relaxed and connected with others.

An emotional response is an instant, internal physical reaction to a disagreeable thought or an unwanted situation. It precedes the thoughts you have about the situation you find yourself in. When allowed to take place, it can stop judgemental and negative thoughts. Try to block this physical discomfort and you can’t think clearly or communicate clearly and that invisible wall of resistance is instantly erected. This is what immediately makes you feel separate from yourself and others, and totally misunderstood.

When you try to ignore the physical emotional response, by default, you switch to a mental analysis of it. This results in a mental tug of war, as you analyse and react to your current situation and what you think it means. This can quickly lead to feeling stressed, separate and totally disconnected.

Here’s how you can prevent that unwanted sense of disconnect:

emotional reset technique

The Emotional Reset Technique (ERT)

The Emotional Reset Technique helps to prevent or neutralise the fight/flight, freeze/shutdown hormonal response when it’s triggered and can prevent your mind from over analysing and overreacting to situations.

The emotional reset resolves the triggered emotional response and enables you to achieve a powerful state of pause, so you have time to feel and think clearly. By naturally resetting your point of focus into a more neutral, calm, and aligned perspective, this can provide an intelligent way to express your thoughts and feelings from an empowered state instead of feeling overwhelmed. Your best communication and choices come from a state of calm.

From there, you are more able to relate with confidence by being able to respond in the most appropriate manner whether triggered from an internal or external (imagined or real) event. The best way to respond is to act from a place of safety, calm and power.

The Emotional Reset Technique can help prevent worry, anxiety, family violence, addictions, depression, sexual dysfunction, violence, bullying, harassment, isolation and suicide. When applied consistently, this can lead you into a consistent state of mental and emotional peace and well being. It also helps to remove isolation and loneliness by restoring a sense of connection with others.

ERT: Your Key to Mastering Your Relationship with Yourself and Other People

The aim of the Emotional Reset Technique is to stop the cycle of violence toward ourselves and others by controlling our emotional triggers. This is the key to relationship mastery as well as the secret to unlocking your happiness and enjoying life.

  • Respond instead of reacting when you’re triggered and be less controlling
  • Have less arguments, conflict and relationship breakdown
  • Easily deal with difficult people and challenging situations
  • Remove stress, anxiety and the need for addictions
  • Increase your confidence, self-esteem and communicate with power
  • Eliminate feelings of separation, isolation and loneliness
  • Enjoy more fulfilling, meaningful and long-lasting relationships
  • Less anxiety, better sex and more understanding in the bedroom
  • Be in charge of how you feel, regardless of what’s going on in your life
  • Feel and look years younger due to decreased stress on your heart and body organs
Emotional Reset Technique  with Jacqui Olliver

Who Developed the Emotional Reset Technique? 

The Emotional Reset Technique™ was initially conceptualized by Jacqui Olliver, Psychosexual Relationship Specialist at End the Problem, published author and recognised authority on enriching relationships by solving people's emotional and sexual issues. Jacqui is passionate about helping people develop new mindsets and strategies to overcome life challenges.

With her initial idea of resolving emotional triggers, Jacqui Olliver joined forces with Kerry Babbage, Founder and CEO of the MATES Organisation (a registered charity) to develop the Emotional Reset Technique and supporting online Life Mastery membership program. Kerry, with more than 30 years experience in personal growth, crisis and trauma around relationships had developed the principle of cognitive reprogramming. He is passionate about helping people in the community work through suicidal idealisation, family violence and mental health, especially men. 

"What’s really exciting, especially for us in having worked in the community for so long is that we’ve seen amazing results and know this is the tip of the iceberg. We all know that we should focus on what we want. This technique and alignment process fully explains why and how - so you can radically improve your relationships with others, as well as your mental and emotional well being."

Backed by neuroscience and supported by neuroscientists in the field of human performance, the Emotional Reset Technique has linked together the Emotional Brain, the Autonomic Nervous System, the Reticular Activating System (RAS) and the function of the Cerebellum to more fully activate the body's inherent Social Engagement System (SES).

The Emotional Reset Technique provides an effective way to focus on the reward pathway in your brain instead of defaulting to the threat pathway which constantly triggers and elevates stress hormones.

The Unwanted Cycle of Triggered Emotions

When you don't know how to immediately resolve an emotional response you get caught up in an endless cycle of being triggered and retriggered by your thoughts and external events. This leads to the need for addictions, as well as loneliness and social isolation.

The Social Engagement System which is the evolved aspect of your autonomic nervous system (a theory developed by Dr Stephen Porges) doesn't fully engage due to you rarely feeling completely safe. 

Without fully activating your Social Engagement System you can feel isolated and separate from others: 

before the emotional reset technique

Without resolving the triggered emotional response by apply the emotional reset, your body and mind remain on high alert. So instead of the Social Engagement System allowing you to actively connect and engage with others, you continue to scan for potential problems.

This keeps you feeling separate and is what often leads to loneliness, depression, arguments and relationship breakdown.

The Outcome of Applying the Emotional Reset:

On the other hand, when you apply the Emotional Reset, you are able to neutralise the triggered emotion and can immediately restore a sense of connection and ease with others. This provides a mental, physical and emotional rest. Then you may apply the full processes of the Emotional Reset Technique to align yourself and fully automate this new way of dealing with emotional triggers:

emotional reset technique application

The Emotional Reset Technique enables you to:

  • Utilise emotional triggering into a positive advantage and prevent retriggering
  • Align your thoughts after being triggered into a positively empowered mindset
  • Eliminate mental programmes that are not useful in helping you move forward
  • Activate the powerful mechanisms of your mind / brain and automate the whole process

On completion of the emotional reset process, there is a natural pause preempting cognitive activity which allows alignment towards a positive mindset. It is much like the pause which occurs on completion of a sneeze. This allows you to feel calm and clear while also at ease and connected. From this physically, emotionally and mentally aligned state you can more easily redirect your thoughts into a sense of personal well being.

ERT helps you establish a calm physiological state when feeling emotionally triggered. It conveys cues of safety to others by resetting and regulating your facial expressions, gestures and tone of voice as well as improve your ability to hear what is being said and articulate any concerns. ERT also helps calm your heart, down-regulates defenses and increases the flow of beneficial hormones and neurochemicals within your body such as dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins.

Eliminating Heart Disease, Loneliness & Isolation

The Emotional Reset Technique (ERT) reawakens a natural process in your brain to overcome negative triggers and align you with what you want. Along with reducing loneliness, feelings of separation and social anxiety, the Emotional Reset Technique can radically decrease arguments and negative thinking and empower communication especially in relationships. It's a simple process that provides you with a powerful pause to discern the most beneficial actions to take when you're feeling unsafe or triggered.

As well as improving your mental and emotional state, the Emotional Reset Technique can also have a positive effect on various physical ailments including heart disease and kidney failure. This is due to vagus nerve activation and balancing of metabolic processes, as well as reducing fears pertaining to the possibility of dying.

Dr Vijay Raghavan, a leading Diabetes and Metabolic Medical Specialist has provided empirical evidence to support the Emotional Reset Technique in his clinical practice in the treatment of chronic kidney failure and heart disease. This doctor is utilising our breakthrough Emotional Reset Technique with his patients to achieve astonishing results: (see submission link below for supporting documentation and case studies).

Further, the Emotional Reset Technique:

  • Helps reduce mental stress and emotional duress
  • Reduces tax on the organs of the body
  • Connected to the variable heart rate and therefore, healing heart disease
  • Highly evolved way of controlling the human body

Along with the evidence provided below, more empirical evidence for the Emotional Reset Technique will be forthcoming in upcoming articles.

The Emotional Reset Technique Submission for New Zealand Ministerial Inquiry into Mental Health & Addictions

We see New Zealand leading the way into a new mental health paradigm which is inclusive and effective for all people across all cultures. It is with great excitement that we share a win/win solution to both mental health and addiction problems, and promote wellbeing within the New Zealand community and globally. Within this submission we provided specific answers to the three main concerns:

  • How to prevent mental health and addiction problems
  • How to intervene early and respond better to people in need 
  • How to promote well being among all people

See our full submission to the New Zealand Ministerial Inquiry into Mental Health & Addictions (including case study medical documentation from Dr Vijay Raghavan) here:

Further video empirical evidence of the Emotional Reset Technique is available here:

Related: How to Stop Feeling Depressed, Anxious and Emotionally Overwhelmed

Psychosexual Relationship Specialist and published author, Jacqui Olliver has helped thousands of men, women and couples restore emotional and sexual satisfaction in their lives. Click here to check out her programs or to book a complimentary strategy session.

Display comments

  • I’m an alcoholic and things at my end are not so good. Please help me so I can get back my life to normal.

    • Hi David, alcohol is commonly used as an emotional feeling fix – as in reaching for alcohol to feel more at ease with your thoughts and emotions. The Emotional Reset Technique (ERT) is a method that helps you establish a calm physiological state when emotionally triggered from a perceived threat or hurt. By taking charge of your biology with ERT you will be able to down-regulate stress hormones while increasing the flow of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins which naturally make you feel good.

  • Amazing technique! It has helped me prevent my mind from over analyzing and overreacting to situations.

  • My relationship with my partner is about to end as there is a lot of negativity developed between us. Please help us.

  • I was going through a very bad phase in my life and had lost hope. Then I came across this technique and I contacted Jacqui. I am totally impressed by the way she has explained this technique to me. Since that day everything has changed and I am happy to be alive.

  • As Dr Vijay Raghavan said he is using Emotional Reset Technique in his clinical practice in the treatment of chronic kidney failure and heart disease. This technique looks like a breakthrough technique.

    • Thank you Ruth, we are receiving lots of feedback on the success of this technique – from health and medical issues, to less arguments and more peace in a person’s life and relationships.

  • Very well explained article as you have covered the most specific points with regards to emotional response.

  • Your Emotional Reset technique is effective as I can see results immediately after my session with you and it just keeps getting better. Thank you so much for giving more meaning to my life.

  • When are you planning to launch this program? I am really looking forward to it.

  • This article helped me a lot in dealing with my emotions and I am wondering how effective your online program would be. Thanks!

    • Hi Cole, glad to hear of your success. Your best communication comes from a state of calm and this is what the emotional reset technique quickly brings you to.

  • I have faced a lot of ups and down in my relationship. I still try to sort out things without having a conflict but things don’t go like that. Can you help?

    • Hi Nakita, I’m totally confident I can help you resolve your conflicts in a timely manner. It’s important to have a clear direction of what you want to achieve so you are more focused on what you want instead of what you don’t want. They key to resolving conflict is removing blame and knowing how to resolve differences to prevent communication breakdown. ERT – the Emotional Reset Technique will help you remove resistance and achieve the outcomes you desire.

  • The Emotional Reset Technique you taught me is working for me and I have overcome all the negativity which used to trigger me in the past. Thanks Jacqui!

  • Thanks Jacqui, I really appreciate what you have discovered. This will help a lot of people overcome being triggered.

  • I find difficulty in connecting with others and which makes me feel alone and depressed.

    • Hi Nancy, first you have to stop fighting your thoughts and emotions so you align with yourself. How to do this is fully explained in our Emotional Reset Technique program.

        • Hi John, the Emotional Reset Technique online program will be launched soon. A full explanation of how it works is contained in the program. The Emotional Reset resolves the emotion in the moment it is triggered, and the Emotional Reset Technique is the process to redirect your attention toward empowered thinking. Empowered thinking leads you toward what you want instead of what you don’t want in life and in your relationships.

          The Emotional Reset Technique program will help restore quality of life to those who suffer from isolation, loneliness, anxiety, depression, addictions, bullying, domestic violence and relationship breakdown; among other social issues.

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