How to Reset Your Emotions
Have you ever wondered what makes you feel separate and misunderstood? You try so hard to reset your emotions and communicate your needs, but still don’t feel heard. Trying to stay calm when your heart’s madly racing, you keep your words carefully modulated, but people still react to them! And then you find yourself reacting to their reaction - and nothing is ever resolved! Power up your life and relationships with ERT, the Emotional Reset Technique.
What makes us feel emotionally disconnected, isolated and unable to connect with others?
The answer is in our brain's stress response and the way we have been programmed throughout life. Simply put, we are constantly triggering ourselves into emotional reactions which make us feel disconnected from ourselves and those around us.
When we have problems or challenges we don't know how to solve, our brain remains on high alert. Therefore, we become easily retriggered by our thoughts and other people's words and actions, simply because we are hypersensitive on that topic!
Between annoyances, unwanted scenarios and imagined unwanted scenarios, we can trigger emotional reactions and stress responses 40+ times per day. Unresolved emotional reactions create invisible walls of resistance and the perception of separation and isolation.
Conversely, each emotional stress response which is consciously resolved in the moment with the Emotional Reset Technique enables us to feel calm and empowered as we realign with our core potential. From this balanced emotional state, it is natural to feel more relaxed and connected with others.
"This technique makes me feel like I have super powers! I’ve been consistently applying the technique when I’ve felt triggered over the past few weeks and it’s incredible how different I feel – and the kids are now responding and listening to me! My partner keeps looking at me like she’s trying to figure out what’s different. I feel so much more relaxed and at ease."
Relationship challenges solved with ERT
The Difference Between Emotions and Feelings
It’s important to note the difference between emotions and feelings. Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so! Emotion is energy, physically experienced as a force flowing through you. Whereas feelings are a mental construct of how you are perceiving that emotional force in any given situation. An emotional response is your body's physical reaction to what you are perceiving mentally.
Just like there is a hierarchy for our nervous system, there is a hierarchy of emotions and feelings which trigger how we experience this force!
The differences between emotions and feelings:
👉 Emotion - is life force, power, energy, the driver of desire, a heightened sense of being.
👉 Feelings - are a mental interpretation of how that force is flowing (or not flowing) through you in the present moment.
👉 Emotional response - your body's physical reaction to your interpretation of that feeling.
👉 Stress response - your brain's protective mechanism which is triggered when a threat is perceived.
👉 Emotional reaction - triggering and retriggering due to further interpretation.
👉 Emotional trigger - the person or situation eliciting a stress response in you.
👉 Emotional state - the result of how you have flowed the emotional force through you.
👉 Empowered emotional state - consciously directing the power of emotional force, toward creating the outcomes you want to experience.
👉 Emotional Reset Technique - the fastest way to an empowered emotional state 🙂
First there is an experience of power, then how you interpret it results in the flow of hormones and neurochemicals that represent your interpretation. You may call this happy, sad, anxious, disappointed, angry, guilty, or something else.
How you interpret emotions and feelings determines whether you experience stress hormones or happy hormones!
And how you interpret a situation can depend on your mental programming...
Threat Based vs Reward Based Programming
From a young age we are programmed to move away from threats. We’re told, “Don’t touch this, don’t touch that. Don't say that. Keep away from this, keep away from that, you’ll hurt yourself.” While this guidance is important to keep us safe, it does not instill confidence in our ability to cope with challenging situations.
This type of threat-based programming constantly triggers stress hormones, and programs us to avoid and move away from anything that could potentially hurt us. So as adults, instead of communicating our way through challenging situations, we tend to shut down and self-isolate.
Two of the major human needs are connection and self-expression. We have an innate desire to express ourselves and connect with others. Yet when we are fearful or threat-focused our brain shuts down our ability to connect and express ourselves! The more we move into survival mode, the less connected we feel.
Conversely, reward-based programming leads to being toward-focused and confident. Instead of generating stress hormones it generates happy hormones; instead of feeling disconnected, we can easily enhance our connection with others. We go from surviving to thriving!
How to do you change from being threat-focused to reward-focused? All you need to do is change the program you are running in your brain. The Emotional Reset Technique helps you do that so you can be in charge of your emotions and feelings, resolve challenging situations, and create a happier, more connected, and enjoyable life.
Emotions vs Feelings
Remember that emotion is a force, a powerful force that flows through us in a satisfying manner when we are in alignment at our core. When we are in core alignment, we experience the emotional force and may describe it as feeling inspired, motivated, and creative as we are able to access our brain's full potential.
However, when we are "triggered" by our interpretation of a situation, we switch ourselves out of alignment. In this triggered emotional state and sense of disconnection, we usually interpret and direct the emotional force in a destructive manner because we are unable to accurately express ourselves. We don't feel good, so we look for something (or someone) to blame for how we are feeling!
Any action we take when we're in a triggered emotional state tends to be destructive to ourselves and others. This happens because rather than being focused on the truth of a situation, we are focused on our mental interpretation of how we are feeling, or how someone has triggered negative emotion in us.
We may interpret ourselves as feeling anxious, annoyed or frustrated, and trigger further emotional reactions as we become caught up in our interpretations of emotions and feelings.
How we continue to interpret the situation we are facing, can result in back-to-back emotional reactions. This results in arguments and further mental conflict as we continue to analyze and react to our current situation and what we think it means. Some people call this depression and others refer to it as having mental health issues.
The Emotional Reset Technique (ERT) enables us to be in charge of our emotions and feelings so we can harness the true power of emotion in our lives, to create our ideal outcomes.
Our Brain's Stress Response and Social Engagement System
While most people have heard of fight / flight, freeze and shutdown, we have a more highly evolved system which helps us to stay engaged with the world around us. The Social Engagement System (SES) is considered to be the evolved aspect of our autonomic nervous system (a theory developed by Dr Stephen Porges over 40 years).
This is the hierarchy of our nervous system according to Dr Porges:
👉 Social Engagement System (SES)
👉 Fight / flight
👉 Freeze / shutdown
When our social engagement system is actively in use, we find it easy to communicate with others. Using our eyes, facial expressions, voice, hand gestures and body language we are able to convey feelings of openness and safety and feel connected with those around us.
It is estimated that around 90% of our communication is non-verbal.
The challenge that most of us have, is that we have been brought up on threat-based programming which means we don't know HOW to utilize our social engagement system to stay connected with ourselves and others! We automatically default to fight / flight or freeze / shutdown instead of using our SES to navigate our way out of challenging situations.
When we perceive a person or situation to be a threat, our brain’s stress response can be triggered. Physically, this feels like an intensely uncomfortable power surge as our brain triggers a surge of neurochemicals including adrenaline and cortisol. This is to prepare us to mobilize (fight / flight) or demobilize (freeze/shutdown).
Frequently caused by threat-based programming and over thinking, our brain’s stress response is often triggered when we have a problem we don’t know how to solve, we're unsure how to correctly focus our actions to resolve a problem, or a problem isn’t yet fully resolved.
This is what happens when we are operating from threat-based programming:
Without fully activating your Social Engagement System you may feel isolated and separate from others and as your brain stays on high alert, you remain easily triggered.
Instead of being able to actively connect with and engage with others, you continue to scan for potential problems. This keeps you feeling separate and is what often leads to loneliness, depressing thoughts (aka depression), arguments and relationship breakdown.
When you don't know how to immediately resolve emotional and stress responses you can become caught up in an endless cycle of being triggered and retriggered by your thoughts and external events. This can lead to the need for addictions (to try and make you feel better) as well as loneliness and social isolation; especially when you don't feel validated.
The Emotional Reset Technique enables you to regain core alignment so you can feel focused and act from an emotionally empowered state.
"I was shown this technique to deal with a personal issue. It was suggested I also apply it whenever I felt the need to smoke cigarettes. Within two days my cravings were gone completely! And now I don’t feel the need for alcohol either! I can’t believe how relaxed and at ease I feel. It feels good just being me."
Solved sex problems and smoking addiction with ERT
The Emotional Reset Technique (ERT)
The Emotional Reset Technique helps to prevent or neutralize the fight / flight, freeze / shutdown stress response when it’s triggered and can prevent your mind from over analyzing and overreacting to situations. It enables you to reach an empowered emotional state, so you can relate with confidence by using your social engagement system to respond in the most appropriate manner.
Your best communication and choices come from being in an empowered emotional state. Whether you are triggered from an internal (imagined) or external (real) event, the best way to respond is to act from a place of balance so your tone of voice and body language are conveying safety and a sense of ease. This makes others feel safe around you, rather than triggering them too!
Naturally resetting your point of focus into a calm, and aligned perspective, the emotional reset technique enables you to express your thoughts and feelings from an empowered emotional state so you can move toward what you want to experience.
An essential component of the Core Alignment lifestyle, the Emotional Reset Technique can help prevent worry, anxiety, family violence, addictions, depression, sexual dysfunction, violence, bullying, harassment, isolation and suicide. When applied consistently throughout your day, ERT can help lead you into a general state of mental and emotional peace and well being.
"This technique has so many applications. I thought that my awful relationship with my partner’s daughter was going to destroy our own relationship. We just couldn’t get along. I started applying the Emotional Reset Technique and so far it has worked! It’s made it easy to get along with my step daughter and the best thing is that it’s improved my relationship with my partner too."
Solved relationship challenges with ERT
The Emotional Reset Technique and Core Alignment
With the power of the Emotional Reset Technique (ERT), the aim of Core Alignment is to create a life you want to live and fulfill your human potential. ERT enables you to switch over from threat-based programming to reward-based programming; and stop the cycle of violence toward yourself and others by being in charge of your emotional triggers and how you feel on a day-to-day basis.
This is the key to stop sabotaging your happiness and having the capacity to create and enjoy a happy and fulfilling experience of life:
Who Developed the Emotional Reset Technique?
The idea behind the Emotional Reset Technique was initially conceptualized by Jacqui Olliver. Founder of the Psychosexual Alignment method, published author, and recognized authority on enriching relationships by solving people's emotional and sexual issues, Jacqui is passionate about helping people develop new mindsets and strategies to overcome life challenges.
With her initial idea of resolving emotional triggers, Jacqui Olliver joined forces with Kerry Babbage to develop the Emotional Reset Technique. Founder and CEO of the M8TZ Organisation and with more than 30 years experience in personal growth, crisis and trauma around relationships, Kerry developed the principle of cognitive reprogramming with CoreAlignment. Kerry is passionate about helping people in the community work through suicidal idealization, family violence and mental health, especially men.
"What’s really exciting, especially for us in having worked in the community for so long is that we’ve seen amazing results and know this is the tip of the iceberg. We all know that we should focus on what we want. The Emotional Reset Technique fully explains how to do this so you can radically improve your relationships with others, as well as your mental and emotional well being."
Backed by neuroscience and supported by neuroscientists in the field of human performance, the Emotional Reset Technique has linked together the Emotional Brain, the Autonomic Nervous System, the Reticular Activating System (RAS) and the function of the Cerebellum to more fully activate the body's inherent Social Engagement System (SES).
Providing an effective way to focus on the reward pathway in your brain instead of defaulting to the threat pathway which constantly triggers and elevates stress hormones, the Emotional Reset Technique is an essential component contained within Kerry's CoreAlignment program and Jacqui's Sex Mastery programs.
The Outcome of Applying the Emotional Reset Technique:
When you apply the Emotional Reset Technique, you are able to neutralize the triggered stress response and can immediately restore a sense of connection and ease with others.
Before long, your brain can fully automate this new way of dealing with emotionally triggering situations as you take conscious control of enabling the reward pathway in your brain.
The Emotional Reset Technique enables you to:
On completion of the emotional reset process, there is a natural pause preempting cognitive activity which allows alignment towards a positive mindset. From this physically, emotionally, and mentally aligned state you can more easily redirect your thoughts into a sense of personal well being and connection with others.
ERT helps you establish a calm physiological state when feeling emotionally triggered. It conveys cues of safety to others by resetting and regulating your facial expressions, gestures and tone of voice as well as improve your ability to hear what is being said and articulate any concerns.
The Emotional Reset Technique can help calm your heart, down-regulate defenses and increase the flow of beneficial hormones and neurochemicals within your body such as dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins.
Eliminating Heart Disease, Loneliness & Isolation
The Emotional Reset Technique (ERT) reawakens a natural process in your brain to overcome negative triggers and align you with what you want. Along with reducing loneliness, feelings of separation and social anxiety, ERT can radically decrease arguments and negative thinking; and empower communication especially in relationships.
It's a simple technique that provides you with a powerful pause to discern the most beneficial actions to take when you're feeling unsafe or triggered.
As well as improving your mental and emotional state, the Emotional Reset Technique can also have a positive effect on various physical ailments including heart disease and kidney failure. This is possibly due to vagus nerve activation and balancing of metabolic processes, as well as reducing fears pertaining to the possibility of dying.
Dr Vijay Raghavan, a leading Diabetes and Metabolic Medical Specialist has provided empirical evidence to support the Emotional Reset Technique in his clinical practice in the treatment of chronic kidney failure and heart disease. This doctor is utilizing our breakthrough technique with his patients to achieve astonishing results: (see submission link below for supporting documentation and case studies).
Further, the Emotional Reset Technique:
The Emotional Reset Technique Submission for New Zealand Ministerial Inquiry into Mental Health & Addictions
We see New Zealand leading the way into a new mental health paradigm which is inclusive and effective for all people across all cultures. It is with great excitement that we share a win/win solution to both mental health and addiction problems, and promote wellbeing within the New Zealand community and globally.
Within this submission we provided specific answers to the three main concerns:
See our full submission to the New Zealand Ministerial Inquiry into Mental Health & Addictions (including case study medical documentation from Dr Vijay Raghavan) here:
Further video empirical evidence of the Emotional Reset Technique is available here: https://youtu.be/BPoqbtBLAas
Want to learn more about CoreAlignment, Sex Mastery and ERT? All coaching programs include an initial 20-min strategy session.