Premature Ejaculation Causes - Understand What Causes PE

By Jacqui Olliver

Premature ejaculation causes significant repercussions on relationships, affecting both self-confidence and a partner's desire to be intimate. So it's critical to understand premature ejaculation causes, what you are doing to cause PE, and how to correctly address it.

As a seasoned professional in the realm of solving sexual function challenges, I see a lot of men struggling to understand why they are experiencing premature ejaculation and how to prevent it.

What premature ejaculation means

Premature ejaculation (PE) doesn’t mean something is fundamentally wrong with you. What premature ejaculation means is that your brain is processing too many arousing signals consecutively or triggering the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) too early during sexual activity. This activation can result from emotional factors, learned patterns of focus, or how your body has been conditioned to respond to stimulation over time.


Struggling with PE often feels overwhelming, but it’s important to understand what premature ejaculation means on a physiological level. It’s not a permanent state but rather a signal that your body and brain need to relearn how to balance arousal and response. Addressing this involves retraining your focus, managing emotional triggers, and creating a calm and balanced state during intimacy.


While PE is typically defined as ejaculating within 3 minutes of intercourse, for some men, it happens even before intercourse. Whether it happens within a matter of seconds, minutes, or 30 minutes, premature ejaculation occurs when you don’t last long enough for both partners to feel fully satisfied.

Studies show that over 40% of men experience some form of sexual dysfunction, including premature ejaculation.


Using the right sexual technique helps your brain trigger the proper response through your nervous system, allowing you to stay hard and in control. By first understanding premature ejaculation causes, you can then fill in the gaps in your knowledge and stop confusing your brain. This enables you to restore a happy and satisfying sex life and turbocharge the depth of emotional connection you can experience with a partner.

Premature ejaculation causes many relationships to break down due to emotional disconnection and anxiety. It's time to restore your sexual confidence and your partner's desire for sex!

When does premature ejaculation happen?

When does premature ejaculation happen and how it can be managed? When does premature ejaculation happen during sexual activity? When does premature ejaculation happen most frequently in men? What can we do about it? I am often asked when does premature ejaculation happen and what can be done to prevent it.


Many years ago, I had a client who would ejaculate when sitting at the table eating breakfast. While he wasn't touching himself in any way, he was overstimulating his brain sexually by focusing on how arousing it felt to be wearing his partner’s silky underwear. This is just one example illustrating that your focus plays a pivotal role - what you think about and where you direct your mental energy can rapidly advance arousal to the point of ejaculation.


Premature ejaculation most often happens due over stimulating your brain sexually with too many arousal signals. Mainly occuring due to incorrectly timed focus and actions, it's crucial to learn how to balance your sexual focus to regain complete control.


This is because premature ejaculation can happen during any stage of sexual activity, including before foreplay, during foreplay (both giving and receiving), when applying a condom, during penetration, intercourse, and even when changing sexual positions. Additionally, premature ejaculation may happen when attempting to quickly regain a lost erection or during solo sexual activities like masturbation.


Later in this post, I give a full run-down of premature ejaculation causes related to how you focus your attention during each stage of the sexual act. This enables you to understand where you may have been going off track and causing premature ejaculation to happen.

How long should I last before I ejaculate?

Understanding timing and technique in sexual activity is vital for mutual satisfaction, especially since around 40% of women find it challenging to reach orgasm.


While five minutes of penetrative sex is often cited as an average duration, it doesn't align with the time most women typically need to climax, which is around 15 to 20 minutes on average. This mismatch highlights the importance of focusing on techniques that balance intimacy, arousal and connection, so both partners can be fulfilled.


Improving sexual timing involves more than just lasting longer; it’s about balancing your focus across your own sensations, your partner’s responses, and the dynamics of the moment to close the timing gap and create a more fulfilling experience for both partners.

Both partners can benefit from learning to balance their sexual focus.

Premature ejaculation caused by anxiety and stress

Anxiety and stress are significant premature ejaculation causes that often go unaddressed. Performance anxiety - worrying about your partner’s experience or your own ability to maintain control - creates mental tension that disrupts focus. This imbalance triggers the brain to activate the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) prematurely through the fight-or-flight response, which accelerates ejaculation.


Another example is focusing on fears of finishing early instead of fully engaging with your partner. This type of mental distraction prevents the brain from managing arousal effectively.


Anxiety and stress directly correlate with not knowing what to focus on, or what to switch focus to, when engaging sexually. Without proper focus, anxiety and stress compound, making it difficult to balance attention during sexual activity.


One of the biggest premature ejaculation causes stems from the lack of practical sex education about engaging with a partner. This leads to a lot of guesswork and confusion, especially in the heat of the moment. Focusing too much on your own sensations can create sudden sensitivity, resulting in an early finish.


Learning how to smoothly shift your attention between your arousal, your partner’s reactions, and the physical dynamics of intimacy is key. An imbalance in this focus doesn’t just contribute to premature ejaculation; it can also lead to erectile dysfunction or difficulty reaching orgasm. Understanding and addressing these causes is a vital step toward achieving sexual balance and control.

It's time to know how to steer your focus right for a more satisfying sexual experience!

The main causes of early ejaculation during sex

Premature ejaculation usually indicates a diversion of focus during sexual activity, leading to ejaculation before it's desired. The timing of ejaculation is closely tied to when your attention becomes misdirected: whether it's before foreplay, during foreplay, leading up to penetration, when putting on a condom, during penetration, throughout intercourse, or during changes in sexual position.


Too much attention on your own experience causes your penis to become hyper-sensitive, which causes you to ejaculate early. While PE may seem complex, it's actually straight-forward to solve by learning how to balance your sexual focus from start to finish.

Premature Ejaculation Causes Related to Each Stage of the Sexual Act

These are 11 common premature ejaculation causes related to each stage of sex. This list includes the focus imbalances which lead to early ejaculation.

1. Prematurely ejaculating before foreplay

When you ejaculate before foreplay, chances are that you have been overly focused on yourself. Whether you are worrying about your penis (or trying not to worry about it), how aroused you are feeling, or overindulging in images of sexual fantasies and the sensations in your penis, any of these focal points can overwhelm your senses to the point where you ejaculate far too early.


2. Premature ejaculation during foreplay

Ejaculating during foreplay indicates you are overly focusing on how arousing your partner is and how aroused you are feeling. You may be trying not to think about ejaculating or worrying about ejaculating. This indulgence in your own experience overstimulates your brain sexually which causes you to ejaculate.


3. Ejaculating prematurely when putting a condom on

Ejaculating when putting a condom on or when applying lubrication, tends to be caused by overly focusing on how aroused you are feeling. Thinking how overstimulated you are and trying not to think about ejaculating, results in ejaculation.


4. Ejaculating when applying lubrication

You are too focused on yourself. How aroused you are feeling, how overstimulated you are... and trying not to think about ejaculating at penetration time. See how there's a common thread of self-focus going on here? Even though it's not intentional, continuous focus on arousal causes problems by overstimulating your brain sexually.


5. Ejaculating at the start of penetration

Ejaculating at the start of penetration indicates you have focused too much on yourself during foreplay, or how arousing your partner is - and trying not to think about ejaculating as you penetrate! A dry entry increases friction and increases the likelihood of over stimulating your brain sexually at penetration time.


6. Premature ejaculation while changing position

When you ejaculate while changing position, you are either focusing too much on how arousing your partner is, or how aroused you are feeling. Worrying about premature ejaculation, and trying not to think about ejaculating prematurely create mental images that signal your brain to initiate ejaculation.


7. Prematurely ejaculating during intercourse

When you ejaculate during intercourse, you are switching back too frequently to thoughts about your sexual performance - either worrying about ejaculating, trying not to think about ejaculating, or trying not to focus on the sensations in your penis and how arousing your partner and/or intercourse are for you.

8. Ejaculating early during foreplay, putting a condom on, at penetration time, and during intercourse

Ejaculating early during all sexual activity, indicates that you are way too focused on your own experience. Your brain responds to a variety of signals including the images it is receiving. So by constantly worrying about ejaculating as well as trying not to think about ejaculating, you are signalling your brain that ejaculation is the desired program.


9. Premature ejaculation with erectile dysfunction

Feeling over stimulated during foreplay, then losing your erection at the start of penetration indicates you are focusing too much on how aroused you are feeling during foreplay. Then trying not to feel over aroused during foreplay... then overcompensating your change of focus to the point of losing your erection!


Worrying about losing hardness before you penetrate can also cause this problem. In addition to this, when the muscles which support a strong erection become weak, it can take longer to restore a hard erection after ejaculating early.


10. Premature ejaculation and ED during intercourse

Feeling over stimulated during foreplay, putting a condom on, and at the start of penetration; and then losing erection hardness during intercourse. This results from focusing too much on how aroused you are feeling during foreplay, worrying about ejaculating (and trying not to think about ejaculating at the start of penetration). Then trying not to feel overstimulated during intercourse and worrying about losing your erection during intercourse.


11. Premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction explained

Premature ejaculation is predominantly a mental issue, caused by being overly focused on yourself. Too much attention on your own experience causes your penis to become hyper-sensitive, which causes you to ejaculate early!


The problem here is that most men haven't received a sex education relevant to engaging sexually in the real world. Therefore, when he finds himself starting to feel like he's losing control, he doesn't know what to switch his focus from, and to. This often leads to problems losing erection hardness due to wildly catapulting himself from one end of the sexual arousal scale to the other with no fun in between.


As you know, this kind of sex is not fulfilling for either partner. Sex can become an embarrassing and labor intensive process as a man desperately tries to control the awareness of feeling in his penis so he can focus on completing the job.

How to prevent premature ejaculation without medication

Preventing premature ejaculation without medication starts with understanding how your nervous system influences sexual performance. The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) is responsible for the "fight-or-flight" response, which plays a key role in triggering ejaculation.


Overstimulation or stress can activate the SNS too early during sexual activity, leading to premature ejaculation. In contrast, the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) helps maintain calm and control, allowing for prolonged intimacy. Balancing these systems through mental and physical techniques can improve sexual function naturally.


Addressing the root causes, such as anxiety or lack of focus, is key to overcoming premature ejaculation. By using strategies to regulate your emotions, balance your attention, and train your body, you can enhance arousal control and timing. This holistic approach allows for a more satisfying sexual experience without relying on medication or numbing agents.


Balancing the nervous system is critical for optimal sexual function and to prevent premature ejaculation without medication. Here's how your nervous system works sexually:

  • During the initial stages of sexual arousal, the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) dominates, helping a man achieve and maintain an erection. As stimulation increases and reaches a peak, the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) gradually takes over to prepare the body for ejaculation.
  • The SNS plays a key role in controlling ejaculation by managing the body's "fight or flight" response, which includes the activation of certain physical processes necessary for ejaculation.
  • When sexual stimulation reaches a certain threshold, the SNS triggers a series of muscle contractions in the reproductive organs. This process, known as emission, involves the contraction of the seminal vesicles, prostate, and vas deferens, pushing semen into the urethra.
  • Following emission, the SNS also controls the final step of ejaculation, where pelvic muscles contract rhythmically to expel semen from the body. This is often followed by a refractory period, during which it's difficult to achieve another erection due to the dominance of the SNS.

Proper control of the timing between the PNS (for erection) and the SNS (for ejaculation) is crucial for maintaining sexual function and avoiding premature ejaculation or loss of control.


In essence, the SNS’s main role is to orchestrate the physical mechanisms of ejaculation, but its premature activation, often due to anxiety or stress, can disrupt this balance and lead to performance issues.


So even if he is doing reverse kegel exercises to keep his PNS activated, he may still be prematurely activating his SNS and causing ejaculation through worrying about performance. This is because he doesn't know what to focus his attention on!


Therefore, to prevent premature ejaculation without medication a male needs to upgrade his sexual knowledge and technique so he can correctly balance his sexual focus between himself, his partner and the actions of sex.


This keeps his nervous system in balance, gives his brain the right amount of arousing signals, and him the perfect control he seeks... without the need for medication.

"I am a medical doctor in the allopathic system of medicine. I know in medicine there is no treatment more effective than your program."

- Dr Vijay Raghavan, Award-Winning Diabetes and Metabolic Specialist

How to stop premature ejaculation naturally and permanently

To stop premature ejaculation naturally and permanently, mastering the art of balance in sexual focus between yourself, your partner, and the actions of sex during foreplay, penetration, and intercourse is crucial. Understanding of the intricacies of the sexual arousal scale is important, because too much focus either way will cause premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.


The arousal scale is a measurement of how much pleasure you're feeling. By providing your brain with the right signals during solo or partnered activities, you'll activate the necessary hormones and muscle programs to ensure complete control over your movement along the arousal scale.


By effectively managing your sexual focus, your brain can activate and maintain the desired sequence of sexual responses: Erection - Hard and in Control - Ejaculation.

It is not your penis you need to control, it is your BRAIN.

Premature ejaculation and women

Addressing premature ejaculation and women involves recognizing and understanding the challenges faced by both partners. Many women need a prolonged duration of sexual activity to achieve orgasm. However, most women are not aware of the pressure men feel to maintain a hard and in control state throughout their required time.


The requirement of his partner’s foreplay duration can range from 10 to 30 minutes or more. A man with premature ejaculation might initially be fine, but as soon as his partner starts making pleasurable noises, he loses focus. This can either heighten his desire and cause him to ejaculate prematurely, or it can trigger performance anxiety because she is ready for penetration... both causing early ejaculation through overactivation of the SNS.


Learning how to correctly balance your sexual focus during foreplay makes penetration easy. When penetration is easy, you will naturally experience less performance anxiety throughout intercourse. This enables you to stay focused on your partner to enhance connection, which will also make you last longer.

Resolve sexual challenges or problems by realigning your sexual focus and technique so your brain receives the right balance of arousal signals.

As you can see, premature ejaculation often arises from excessive self-focus during intimate moments. With thoughts revolving around arousal levels, partner's arousal, and worries about ejaculating early.


Not knowing specifically where to focus next, can result in confusion when attempting to shift attention. This potentially leads to weak erections as well as premature ejaculation, and a dissatisfying sexual experience for both partners.

The best cure for premature ejaculation

Just as staying focused is crucial when driving a car to avoid accidents, maintaining concentration during sex is vital for preventing premature ejaculation. The best cure for premature ejaculation lies in prioritizing actions that fulfill your partner's needs. This approach allows you to maintain a fulfilling emotional connection while naturally regulating your ejaculation.


However, striking the perfect balance is essential, as excessive focus on your partner may lead to difficulties maintaining an erection. Lapses in concentration during sexual activity can result in loss of erection or ejaculation control, depending on where you are located on the sexual arousal scale and how you attempt to compensate for the distraction!


Achieving the right balance of sexual focus requires making slight adjustments throughout foreplay, penetration, intercourse (and masturbation) to ensure sustained arousal and control.

Don't leave your sexual wellbeing up to luck! Mastering the art of smoothly transitioning through different stages of sex ensures an enjoyable and satisfying experience for both you and your partner.

How to fix the causes of premature ejaculation

Ideally a man can last for 20-30 minutes during both foreplay and intercourse to ensure he is able to totally fulfill himself and his partner sexually. To achieve this and fix premature ejaculation requires advanced sexual knowledge.


My Sex Mastery Program is recommended by medical specialists. This breakthrough program explains step-by-step how to correctly balance your sexual focus to stay in control of your penis during foreplay, penetration, intercourse, and masturbation.


And... Exactly how to focus on your partner to maintain the highest degree of control and connection!


Your success is guaranteed with my 100% money-back guarantee. Apply the techniques as instructed for 30 days and if you don't find it life-changing, simply reach out for a full refund.


Many men went from ejaculating within seconds of sexual touching to lasting over an hour during penetrative intercourse after completing this program. To ensure your ideal results, the program provides guidance on preventing weak erections and addressing challenges with ejaculation, so all bases are covered.


It also includes Sex Mastery for Women! This section helps your female partner restore her libido and easily reach her desired number of orgasms during intercourse and foreplay, further taking the pressure off you!


One payment gives you lifetime access to fix the causes of premature ejaculation (and other sex problems), with informative bonus resources for back-up.

The Sex Mastery Program for men and women is accessed online, 100% private and confidential, and recommended by medical professionals.


A satisfying sex life can be easily achieved, all it takes is a few simple tweaks in your approach to sex and intimacy. I have total confidence my unique insights will set you up sexually for life.

I have many success stories to share!

Join my many customers who have enjoyed success after finishing their Sex Mastery program.

"You are extremely amazing, I was scared to have sex, but I can tell you now... Am so proud of myself that I am a man again. Am a beast when it comes to sex. Thank you, thank you for saving me."

- James, Africa*
Proud of myself

"PE had always affected us, but it kept getting worse. I wanted us both to have a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship so I bought Jacqui's program. My wife and I are both really pleased with the results."

- Mark, Australia*
Both really pleased

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Jacqui Olliver

Jacqui Olliver

As the founder of the Psychosexual Alignment methodology and published author, Jacqui has helped thousands of men and women easily resolve sex problems and restore emotional connection. Get your ultimate sex education and elevate intimacy to an exciting new level of engagement with Jacqui's Sex Mastery Program for men and women.

© Jacqui Olliver and the Life Education Initiative. All Rights Reserved. DMCA protected. Content on this website is for information purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for medical advice. *Results vary from person to person.