10 Best Foreplay Techniques to Ignite Your Partner’s Interest

Best Foreplay Techniques for You and Your Partner

Whether you are having trouble getting your partner interested in sex or you’re just looking to add more spice and attraction into your relationship, here are 10 of the best foreplay techniques to leave you both wanting and desiring a healthy and active sex life.

best foreplay techniques

Though some people think of foreplay as being an annoying obligation, implementing different forms of foreplay inside and outside the bedroom can be both inspiring and fun... as well as motivating both partners to enjoy better sex and more frequently!

Having a diverse foreplay routine is crucial to interrupt the day to day normality of life. Failing to put in quality time before engaging sexually may lead to frustration if your partner’s mind is distracted and therefore becomes unable to complete the sexual act.

These are some of the best foreplay techniques to re-engage your partner’s interest and desire in having sex with you.

#1 Best Foreplay Technique: Send a Sexy Text to Your Partner

One of the best foreplay tips is to occasionally text your partner, “I want to [bleep] tonight.” But male and female brains are wired differently, so you need to be careful about getting the message right. Otherwise it may have a negative effect on your sexual relationship and could put your partner off sex completely! 

Sending playful, cheeky, or supportive little text messages like this to your partner will let them know that you will be ready to go when you both reach home.

#2 Foreplay Technique: Add a Calendar Appointment for Sex

This may sound contradictory to a happy sex life. Yet life often becomes so busy that we forget to leave enough time and energy to take care of our own needs and the health of our relationship! If you want to ensure you enjoy a happy and healthy relationship with your partner in the years to come, then be sure to add a calendar appointment 2x a week saying “Wild sex @7pm!” or whichever time realistically fits in with both of your schedules.

Our lives are often focused around our to-do lists, so make sure quality sex is on your menu at least twice a week. For more cheeky fun, send your partner a calendar invite so you can both look forward to the foreplay and intercourse fun you are planning together.

#3 Foreplay Technique: Surprise Your Partner with a Sexy Gift 

How you show up in your relationship is your greatest gift. Retaining attraction is important, and sometimes we stop doing the very things which attracted our partner to us in the first place! Comfort and complacency can be relationship killers so pay special attention to your appearance and aim to present the best version of yourself for you as well as your partner. This helps to make you feel sexy. It also goes a long way to maintaining self-esteem as well as your partner’s desire and attraction for you.

In many cases, wearing sexy lingerie will help to fulfill your partner's sexual fantasies. Give your partner a gift certificate to Victoria’s Secret and ask them to go shopping with you to pick out the perfect lingerie or outfit for sexual play.

Looking and feeling sexy can be an incredible turn on for both of you and will do wonders to enhance your overall relationship as well as your sex life. 

#4 Foreplay Technique: Ask What Turns Your Partner On

Both of you will benefit from knowing each other’s sexual preferences and fantasies, and helping each other fulfill them. When in doubt of how to please your partner, just come right out and simply ask what he or she likes during foreplay and intercourse. Not everyone feels confident openly speaking about their sexual wants and desires, so it can be helpful to pay attention to your partner’s body language and verbal sounds throughout sexual acts. 

Most partners appreciate the fact that you are doing your best to ensure that they’re satisfied. If your partner notices you’re working hard to please them, then they’ll be more likely to return the favor when you tell them what you like.

Help your partner to understand what you like by saying, “Mmmm… that feels really good right there. Do more of what you’re doing now, it feels amazing!”

Clearly communicating (without blame or accusation) what you want and need inside and outside the bedroom will do wonders for the health of your relationship and help to restore a more intimate connection.

foreplay technique massage

#5 Best Foreplay Technique: The Precoital Massage

One of the best foreplay techniques is to start with a non-sexual shoulder rub (fingers together), then lengthen your strokes to seductively stroke down the sides of their torso. Pay attention to your partner’s body language. This is a great way to get a person out of their thoughts and into their body so they can relax and open up to being sexual with you. 

If they are leaning into you, it may indicate they are starting to feel turned on. If so, splay your fingers so your hands linger in a more loving touch and if the timing feels right, make a suggestive comment or take your partner’s hand and lead them into the bedroom.

If not, continue with the non-sexual massage and know that your efforts will have an eventual pay-off if you are following my other recommended foreplay techniques 🙂

Make sure you check out my Shoulder Rub BJ. It can be hard work giving a blowjob, so this technique provides mutual benefits, rewards and satisfaction!

#6 Foreplay Technique: Focus on Quality, Not Quantity

Focus your attention on quality over quantity - although a male has to be careful here, as too much focus on his partner in the wrong way can cause him to lose his hard erection or ejaculate early. It’s important to know your partner’s sexual preferences, as a woman who can easily orgasm during intercourse may not want foreplay consisting of clitoris stimulation, she may just want you to kiss her.

Conversely, a man who is rock hard does not need his partner to stimulate his penis as he is already ready for penetration. The best foreplay in the bedroom is that which is wanted. Know what your partner wants and needs and be open to the fact that this may change from time to time.

Related: Best Foods for Harder Erections

#7 Foreplay Technique: Distract Your Partner with a Kiss

One of the most overlooked foreplay tips is distracting your partner with slow and lingering kisses. In addition to a lead up to having sex, this is a great thing to do when it's totally unexpected. Like after you have watched a movie or Netflix and your normal routine is to get up from the sofa and prepare for the next day. 

Being less predictable in your daily tasks is a natural turn-on. Keep your eyes locked with your partner’s eyes as you slowly connect up to the point when your lips are about to make contact, then close them as you connect in delicious anticipation.

foreplay kissing technique

#8 Foreplay Technique: Drive Her Wild with The Finger and Thumb Technique

This is one of my most proven foreplay techniques to give a woman the best orgasm. Apply a small amount of lubrication (coconut oil works best) to her vaginal opening. Insert your middle finger then curl it back toward you in the shape of a G. This rough area is her g-spot. Slide this finger back and forth and sideways over her g-spot while gently circling her clitoris with your thumb or tongue.

While this takes a bit of practice to perfect, it’s one of the fastest ways to give your partner an orgasm as it provides an intense array of delicious sensation. Ensure to constantly vary the degree of pressure you use (not too firm) but most importantly, stay in the center line of her vagina.

Ongoing disappointment from being unable to reach orgasm can eventually put a woman off having sex. If your female partner has problems achieving orgasm during foreplay or intercourse, then I recommend that you get her my Sex Mastery: Enjoyable Sex and Orgasms program so she can orgasm on command. (I have a Sex Mastery Hard and in Control program for men!)

Related: Can't Orgasm

#9 Foreplay Technique: Keep Excess Hair Trimmed

Physical discomfort can be a distraction which prevents either partner reaching orgasm. Giving oral is a wonderful experience - unless you are constantly spitting out hairs! In addition to this, excessive hair is ticklish and can cause irritation on penetration which can also be an unwanted distraction.

Regardless of gender, make sure you keep the hairs around your genitals trimmed. It’s best to regularly trim hair in the genital region with an electric hair trimmer twice a week than endure the agony of waxing this sensitive area!

This rarely spoken of foreplay technique is essential for retaining your partner’s interest and overall desire for you. By keeping your body hair (and facial and underarm hair) trimmed you can help your partner relax and look forward to engaging sexually.

best foreplay technique clean breath

#10 Foreplay Technique: Be Aware of Bad Breath & Body Odours

One of the best foreplay techniques is actually taking preventative measures! Bad breath and body odors are among the greatest turn-offs sexually. Make sure you practice good oral hygiene - by brushing your teeth at least twice a day. If you eat fermented foods, or foods high in sulphur such as garlic or onion you may wish to consider brushing after eating these foods too.

You can ensure your breath remains fresh by scraping the surface of your tongue with a spoon then brushing your tongue with a few drops of peppermint essential oil or toothpaste twice a day. This makes your breath stay fresher for longer. 

Instead of trying to mask body odor with deodorant, quickly wash under your arms with a mild natural soap, then dry and apply deodorant. If you're a woman, make sure you are preventing pungent vaginal smells by following my ACT Protocol.

As a foreplay technique, kiss your partner’s neck or chest and immediately breathe in the same spot you just kissed. The temperature of the area changes which creates a spark of goose bumps for your partner - and with a minty fresh breath you are ready for more action!

In Summary of the Best Foreplay Techniques

The best foreplay techniques start outside the bedroom and can be an essential part of warming your partner up for sex. Make sure you get feedback from your partner from time to time to ensure you know which foreplay techniques are having the most favorable impact.

As with our moods, our desires can change and as individuals we are each responsible for communicating these needs to our partner.

Your ability to enjoy sex, along with your sexual technique can also play an important role in engaging your partner's interest and desire. If you have problems ejaculating early, losing erection hardness or are unable to achieve orgasm it may impede you and your partner's ability to enjoy a happy and connected sex life.

Satisfying sex is easy to achieve with the correct techniques and information. If you want an effective sexual technique which is sure to please you and your partner in the years to come, I recommend investing in my Sex Mastery programs for men and women

Further reading:

Jacqui Olliver Sex Mastery Programs
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Jacqui Olliver: Sex Mastery Hard AND in Control Program
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5 Factors Which Ruin a Woman’s Sex Life
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Developer of the Psychosexual Alignment method and published author, Jacqui Olliver has helped thousands of men, women and couples restore emotional and sexual satisfaction in their lives. Click here to check out her programs or to book a complimentary strategy session so you can save time, stride forward with confidence, and enjoy a happy and fulfilling life.

Display comments

  • An intriguing discussion is definitely worth comment. I think that you need to publish more about this topic, it may not be a taboo subject but generally people do not discuss these topics. To the next! Best wishes!!

  • I do proper foreplay and even use techniques on my GF but she keeps on asking for more. Am I lacking somewhere? What changes do I need to make?

    • Hi Zack, you need to find out what, specifically, she doesn’t like about foreplay. Sometimes a woman can be put off foreplay by a previous partner’s technique or attention to personal grooming. Do you use hard and fast techniques you found on porn? Are your fingernails neatly trimmed? Do you always use lubrication so manual penetration is easily accepted by her? You need to do some detective work to find the real issue so you can resolve it.

      Many women (43%) have problems reaching orgasm which can also be part of the problem. I can help you resolve these issues, you may schedule a complimentary strategy session here.

    • Hi James, you are focusing too much on how aroused you are feeling, or on how arousing your partner is. This over stimulates your brain and causes you to ejaculate early. It’s an easy problem for me to solve.

  • These are some of the best foreplay techniques I have read so far. Guys need to know it’s not just about what they do in the bedroom, setting the mood outside of the bedroom is also important.

  • I use the thumb technique on my GF but I feel that I am going wrong somewhere as she does not respond to it that much.

    • Hi Mark, does your girlfriend have problems reaching orgasm? Also, when a partner is mentally distracted or stressed they can find it more challenging to relax and get into engaging sexually.

  • Body odor and bad breath are a complete turn off for me. One need to be very careful about these two things.

    • Hello Helene, remember that sex education is more about safety than technique, so go easy on your husband. Remember to communicate the foreplay techniques you enjoy and praise him for his efforts. People are more motivated and inclined to make changes when receiving praise and appreciation.

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