I Cant Orgasm – Why Cant I Orgasm?

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Help! I Cant Orgasm

When you cant orgasm by yourself or with a partner it makes you wonder if there is something inherently wrong with you. Known as anorgasmia, being unable to orgasm devastates your confidence and self esteem. In this post, I explain why you cant orgasm, what's preventing you from reaching orgasm and how you can achieve orgasm on demand... with the correct knowledge and technique.

According to Planned Parenthood statistics, a staggering 80% of women have difficulty reaching orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone and nearly 1 in 3 of these women have trouble reaching orgasm during any sexual activity. For men, being unable to orgasm is a less frequent problem (yet no less frustrating) than erectile dysfunction (weak erections) and premature ejaculation (ejaculating early).

You cant orgasm simply by hoping. Or by telling yourself “Come on! I want it to happen now!”

And as you know, when the feeling is intense and you start thinking “Is it?… Is it?… Is it?” It usually isn’t.

The “Aw, just about had it..” thought promptly follows another failed attempt, as those intensely delicious feelings melt away… and you are left feeling disappointed yet again, in your inability to feel sexually fulfilled… in your ability to fulfil your partner… and in your ability to feel fulfilled as a human being.

Why Cant I Orgasm?

When your mind is distracted and you are focusing on the wrong action you literally cant orgasm. For example, a man cant orgasm when he continues to focus too much attention on his partner instead of focusing on the actions which would make him ejaculate. Sometimes he will lose his hard erection in the process of trying to reach an orgasm for this reason.

As a woman, if you're constantly questioning whether you will reach orgasm, you won't because those random thoughts have put your focus in the wrong place! Vaginal dryness issues can also cause discomfort and pain which contribute to your mind being distracted to the point where you cant orgasm. See my best natural cures for female dryness

Being able to orgasm isn’t about what position you’re in. Neither is it just about your partner’s technique although that can influence it. If your partner has a sexual problem then obviously that’s going to shorten the time frame available to you and compound your pressure to reach an orgasm before (he) finishes.

Ongoing sexual frustration leads to disappointing (or boring) sexual encounters which eventually will negatively impact either (or both) partner's libido. Therefore, it's important to solve this "I cant orgasm" problem.

So what are the rules for reaching orgasm?

The same rules for reaching orgasm apply to both males and females. Basically, there are 3 main factors to solve in the orgasm equation. These all work together and directly influence the sexual act you are performing:

Mechanics – the act of sex, whether it be with a partner or by yourself
Mental – your thoughts, ​how you are focused
Sensation – your awareness of feeling

You need to focus your attention correctly so you are focused on the right amounts of actions and awareness of feeling. This will influence the sexual programs in your brain and enable you to reach orgasm.

The sexual programs in your brain MUST be activated in the correct order for you to build sexual intensity.

Being able to orgasm becomes quite easy, once you understand exactly how this process works. This is explained in my Sex Mastery programs for men and women. Without this advanced sex knowledge you will continue to have random results as you don't know what you should be focusing on next.

PERFORMANCE ANXIETY is the greatest sex killer and frequently determines whether or not you will be able to orgasm. Anxiety around sex is usually caused by not knowing how to focus your attention correctly and what adjustments you should be making as you progress throughout the sexual act.

The Timing of Female Orgasms


The timing of male and female orgasms is different. While a man usually ejaculates at the same time he orgasms, a woman can orgasm and experience female ejaculations separately and multiple times within a very short time frame during intercourse.

While many orgasms can be achieved in a row by a woman, this act can make you appear too self-focused on your own experience and may make your partner feel excluded. Orgasms can also lose in intensity if you try to have too many of them. 

I recommend aiming for one or two intense orgasms for the best female sexual experience. A squirting orgasm during the act, and a combined pulsing / squirting orgasm to time at the end with your partner's orgasm. This allows you to pay more attention to your partner and fully connect on an emotional level for a mutually fulfilling experience.

Squirting orgasms are always easier for a woman to reach, however, the sensations don't last as long. Pulsing orgasms require a little more time and focus, but have a longer lasting effect.

Orgasms naturally happen when you understand how to correctly initiate the required thought and action sequence needed to complete the orgasm program in your brain.

For women, there is a specific sequence required to achieve a pulsing orgasm and a different sequence required for a squirting orgasm. With the correct knowledge, she can simply choose her preferred program, activate the correct procedure in her brain and boom! she activates the correct response in her body. It’s as easy as that, even if she has never had an orgasm or orgasms infrequently.

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The Timing of Male Orgasms

Both men and women must focus in a specific manner to ensure they don’t accidentally switch themselves out of their orgasm program. However, a man needs to focus in a specific manner to be able to retain his erection and stay in control to only ejaculate when he wants to.

Unlike women, a man is generally limited to one ejaculation and orgasm, so the timing of it is crucial. For some men, being able to orgasm is a strenuous and arduous task – taking such a long time that his partner becomes bored waiting for it to happen. This is not an ideal situation, as a partner unfulfilled by their partner’s technique tends to want sex infrequently – which adds to the performance pressure when the man finally gets the chance to have sex again.

This cannot orgasm problem needs to be immediately rectified to ensure no further problems are caused to your mental and emotional health or in your relationship.

Male or female, my Sex Mastery programs (which are recommended by leading medical specialists) teach you step-by-step, how to have fulfilling sex and orgasm when you want to. So you can go from “Help, I can’t orgasm!” to... “Sex is so much fun now!”

Get the easy answers for achieving a happy and satisfying sex life today:

Sex Mastery for Men - Get Hard, Then Stay Hard and Time Your Ejaculation
Sex Mastery for Women - Get the Answers for Achieving Enjoyable Sex and Orgasms