Help! I Can't Orgasm
When you cant orgasm by yourself or with a partner it can make you wonder if there is something inherently wrong with you. This can devastate your confidence as well as your self esteem. Known as anorgasmia, being unable to orgasm affects a huge percentage of women, and men too! In this post, I explain why you cant orgasm, what's preventing you from reaching orgasm and how you can achieve orgasm on demand... with the correct knowledge and techniques in place.
According to Planned Parenthood statistics, a staggering 80% of women have difficulty reaching orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone and nearly 1 in 3 of these women have trouble reaching orgasm during any sexual activity. For men, being unable to orgasm is a less frequent problem (yet no less frustrating) than erectile dysfunction (weak erections) and premature ejaculation (ejaculating early).
You cant orgasm simply by hoping. Or by telling yourself “Come on! I want it to happen now!”
And as you know, when the feeling is intense and you start thinking “Is it?… Is it?… Is it?” It usually isn’t.
The “Aw, just about had it..” thought promptly follows another failed attempt, as those intensely delicious feelings melt away… and you are left feeling disappointed yet again, in your inability to feel sexually fulfilled… in your ability to fulfil your partner… and in your ability to feel fulfilled as a human being!
Why can't I reach an orgasm?
This usually happens because you are mentally distracted. When your mind is distracted and you are focusing on the wrong action it's impossible to reach an orgasm. For example, a man can't orgasm when he continues to focus too much attention on his partner instead of focusing on the actions which would naturally make him ejaculate. Sometimes a man will lose his hard erection in the process of trying to reach an orgasm for this reason.
As a woman, if you're constantly questioning whether you will reach orgasm, you won't; because those random thoughts have put your focus in the wrong place! Vaginal dryness issues can also cause discomfort and pain which contribute to your mind being distracted to the point where you cant orgasm.
See also: my best natural cures for female dryness.
Being able to orgasm isn’t about what position you’re in. Neither is it just about your partner’s technique although that can influence it (and your overall desire for sex). If your partner has a sexual problem then obviously that’s going to shorten the time frame available to you and compound your pressure to reach an orgasm before (he) finishes.
Ongoing sexual frustration leads to disappointing (or boring) sexual encounters which eventually will negatively impact either (or both) partner's libido! Therefore, it's imperative to solve this "I cant orgasm" problem.
Are there any rules for reaching orgasm?
Yes, there are, and the same rules for reaching orgasm apply to both males and females. Basically, there are 3 main factors to solve in the orgasm equation. These all work together and directly influence whatever sexual act you are performing:
Mechanics – the act of sex, whether it be with a partner or by yourself
Focus – how your attention is focused
Sensation – your awareness of feeling
You need to focus your attention correctly so you are generating the right actions and awareness of feeling. This will influence the sexual programs in your brain and enable you to reach an orgasm.
The sexual programs in your brain MUST be activated in the correct order for you to build sexual intensity!
Being able to orgasm becomes quite easy, once you understand exactly how this process works. This is explained in my Sex Mastery programs for men and women. Without this advanced sex knowledge you will continue to have random results as you don't know what you should be focusing on next.
PERFORMANCE ANXIETY is the greatest sex killer and frequently determines whether or not you will be able to orgasm. Anxiety around sex is usually caused by not knowing how to focus your attention correctly and what adjustments you should be making as you progress throughout the sexual act.
How many orgasms can a female have?
That depends on how you are focusing your attention and how long your partner lasts, too. While a man usually ejaculates at the same time he orgasms, a woman can orgasm and experience female ejaculations separately and multiple times within a very short time frame during intercourse.
For a woman who doesn't have any problems reaching an orgasm, many orgasms can be achieved in a row. This, however, can make you appear too self-focused on your own experience and may make your partner feel excluded!
Orgasms can also reduce in intensity if you try to have too many of them.
Can't orgasm? Check out my Sex Mastery programs for men and women.
Squirting orgasms are easier for a woman to reach (because they are going with gravity instead of against it) however, the sensations don't last as long. Pulsing orgasms require a little more time and focus, but have a longer lasting effect.
Orgasms naturally happen when you understand how to correctly initiate the required focusing sequence needed to complete the orgasm program in your brain.
For women, there is a specific sequence required to achieve a pulsing orgasm and a different sequence required for a squirting orgasm. By upgrading her knowledge base, she can simply choose her preferred program, activate the correct procedure in her brain and boom! she activates the correct response in her body!
It’s as easy as that, even if she has never had an orgasm or orgasms infrequently.
For the best sexual experience as a female, I recommend aiming for one or two intense orgasms. A squirting orgasm during the act, and a combined pulsing / squirting orgasm to time at the end with your partner's orgasm.
This allows you to pay more attention to your partner and fully connect on a deeper emotional level for a mutually fulfilling experience.
What about male orgasm?
Timing his orgasm can be trickier for a male. This is because he needs to focus in a specific manner to be able to retain his erection and stay in control to only ejaculate when you both want him to!
Unlike women, a man is generally limited to one ejaculation and orgasm, so the timing of it is crucial. For some men, being able to orgasm is a strenuous and arduous task – taking such a long time that his partner becomes bored waiting for it to happen.
Conversely, it is extremely challenging for a man to stay hard and in control when his partner takes a long time to orgasm or cannot reach an orgasm.
You need to fix your orgasm problems now.
Not being able to reach an orgasm can present many problems in a relationship. It is not an ideal situation, as a partner unfulfilled by their partner’s technique tends to want sex infrequently. This can add to, and cause performance anxiety which can result in other sexual problems as well as mental health challenges!
Both men and women must focus in a specific manner to ensure they don’t accidentally switch themselves out of their orgasm program.
Male or female, my Sex Mastery programs (which are recommended by leading medical specialists) teach you step-by-step, how to have fulfilling sex and orgasm when you want to. So you can go from “Help, I can’t orgasm!” to... “Sex is so enjoyable and fun now!”
Get the easy answers for achieving a happy and satisfying sex life today.
Sex Mastery for Men - Get Hard, Then Stay Hard and Time Your Ejaculation
Sex Mastery for Women - Get the Answers for Achieving Enjoyable Sex and Orgasms