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It's critical for teens to have the right sex education and understand sexual consent. Sex is always in the news, one way or another. Whether it’s sex education, rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment, sexual consent for teens, there is so much confusion relating to the topic of sex and sexual consent. Due to the fact that essential facets of sex aren’t discussed with teens, experimentation is required.
Young adults are constantly receiving conflicting messages - from their bodies, their brains and the adults who are inadvertently misinforming them due to a lack of relevant sex education answers!
Most high schools and colleges focus on Abstinence Only Sex Education. However, it’s a proven fact that the more you try not to think about something, the more that very thing, dominates your mind! So even if teens weren’t previously thinking about sex, they are now. Because we're telling them not to be. And because they have a gazillion hormones racing around their bodies and so many things trigger thoughts of sex.
Girls in short skirts and dresses, gyrating music videos, social media posts... sexual imprinting in high schools, college and within communities is everywhere!
Without understanding how their sexual programs need to work, how can teens hope to gain some semblance of self-control? Sexual arousal can be turned on and off like a switch. But this vital problem-free sex education just isn’t being taught in schools.
Teens are left trying to cope with being in varying states of arousal and having no option but to try and figure things out for themselves.
Along with trying not to feel aroused, teens have the great need to know in advance that their sexual programs are going to work as they should. Sex education focuses on safety which is helpful, but doesn't provide the essential mental mechanics required to complete a sexual act. Masturbation isn't the same as having sex with a live person!
For 30% of the population, things don't work sexually as they should with a partner. When a male can’t get hard or stay hard and in control, or female is unable to achieve orgasm - then teens are going to seek random sexual encounters to try and figure out what they are doing wrong before they meet someone who really matters.
Sexual “malfunctions” including premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and being unable to achieve orgasm, frequently lead to a downward spiral which leads to depression (and often suicide) when an individual feels like they’re failing as a human being.
Young males want to know the facts about how to relate sexually: How to stay hard during foreplay? How do I control when I ejaculate? How do I support my partner's needs? As well as fulfilling their partner's needs, young females want to know how to focus their attention to achieve orgasm.
An understanding of these facts would remove many emotional and sexual distractions and contribute toward older teens gaining self-confidence and self-esteem.
Until teens are given relevant sex education answers which provide them with clear instructions for how to operate their bodies and to prepare for being successful in a fully functioning adult relationship, we need to provide a clearer understanding on what consent actually means.
Many teens connect sexually in the hope of feeling better, of feeling connected, of feeling wanted. Sex is often used as an emotional crutch in an attempt to achieve this desired state. This is why some teens and young adults appear totally open and welcoming to having sex sometimes, yet totally resistant at other times. This can cause a great deal of confusion to all involved and is why consent to engage in sexual activity at any given time is an absolute requirement.
Too many times, sexual consent is assumed and therefore, becomes a rape of sexual consent for teens.
There are several factors which influence a person’s libido and desire for sex. Even when in an adult relationship, sex won’t always be welcomed by a partner and their ongoing desire and arousal for sex shouldn’t ever be assumed. If your partner loses interest in initiating sex, then you need to ascertain what the problem is and it’s best to ask him or her directly.
Quite often, lack of sexual desire for a partner is caused by a sexual dysfunction or a sense of feeling emotionally resistant or disconnected.
With young adults, the combination of uncontrolled hormonal responses (due to a lack of advanced sex education answers) and the desire for an emotional feeling fix drive many of them to experiment and experience sex as often as they can.
When a person is completely self-focused and compelled toward fulfilling their own sexual and emotional needs and desires, there is a tendency to ignore (or forget to ask) if this is what the other person actually wants. This is why it’s SO important to ensure teens and young adults get that unforced YES before engaging in any sexual activity. Just because it was wanted once, doesn’t mean it’s an ongoing desire, especially if you aren’t in a committed relationship.
“Is this ok now?”
Consent is: Yes, I want this too.
“Do you want to have sex now?”
Consent is: Yes, I want to have sex with you now.
Anything stated less clearly than the above, consider it to be a NO. If the person is drunk or under the influence of drugs, consider it to be a definite NO. The human mind has a tendency to lie, cheat and make excuses, so if that person can’t coherently think for themselves, don’t talk yourself into thinking they want to have sex with you or that it’s ok to have sex with them!
This is because it may result in an accusation of rape when the person becomes sober and discusses the issue with their friends!
If she or he isn’t replying or saying anything at all, take it as a definite NO, don’t even go there. It’s too risky. Lines and boundaries can become blurred when there is no clear communication. But those boundaries still matter. It’s a tough thing to endure unwanted sexual advances, rape and or sexual assault. This is because the memories and anxiety triggered by abuse can cause ongoing problems in a person's ability to relate to others emotionally and sexually.
Trust can become a major issue which impacts future relationships.
Sexual consent for teens is important, however, so is their requirement for advanced sex education knowledge.
No one wants to feel like they are failing, and schools are just not providing the advanced level of sex education which is so essential for young adults to succeed as fully functioning adults.
As a parent you need to provide your teens with the knowledge they need to succeed in this important arena of their lives! Statistically, 80% of people are affected by sex problems including premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and being unable to reach orgasm. Therefore, the chances of your teens being included in these statistics is high.
If your teen or teens have sexual function challenges, it is likely they will be too embarrassed to discuss it with you. It’s also unlikely they will discuss it with a professional. Most people suffer in silence, hoping their problem will go away by itself, sometimes putting their life and happiness on hold for many years.
All around the world, teens are left waiting and hoping for this level of sex education knowledge.
Instead of leaving their relationship happiness to chance, you could give them the gift of Sex Mastery.
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As the founder of the Psychosexual Alignment methodology and published author, Jacqui has helped thousands of men and women easily resolve sex problems and restore emotional connection. Get your ultimate sex education and elevate intimacy to an exciting new level of engagement with Jacqui's Sex Mastery Programs for Men and Women.
© Jacqui Olliver. All Rights Reserved. DMCA protected. The content on this website is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. *Results vary from person to person. Questions? Please email me directly and let me know how I can help: [email protected]
