The Best Sex Positions for the Best Sexual Performance
There are few things more devastating to a man than losing his hard erection or ejaculating before he and his partner are ready. The good news is that the best sexual positions for PE and ED can both improve your sexual control and sexual performance as well as enhance your emotional connection with your partner.
Erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE) can occur at any stage in a man’s life and are among the leading causes of low self-confidence and low self-esteem in men. The best sexual positions for PE and ED make it easier to stay balanced and focused on the act you are performing so you can stop worrying about your sexual performance and start enjoying sex.
Sex Positions for Low Confidence
It’s important to note that until you increase your sexual confidence, constantly changing your sexual position becomes another unnecessary distraction as it can cause you to start worrying about your penis. As you well know, performance anxiety can lead to ejaculating prematurely or losing your erection hardness.
Therefore, it is far better to focus on a few mutually enjoyable positions that provide the greatest degree of control and connection, rather than trying too many positions which can result in sexual failure. As you become confident with the best sex positions for PE and ED you can then start becoming more adventurous.
PE or ED When Changing Sexual Position
In my experience of solving these issues for thousands of men, the main cause of PE and ED is focusing on the wrong action at the wrong time during sexual activity which confuses your brain as to what is wanted. This often results in performance anxiety.
To stay in control of your penis during a change of sexual position, you need to be giving your brain signals that are relevant to either increasing or decreasing your awareness of feeling.
I recently started analysing my client data and according to my statistics, PE and ED happen most frequently at penetration time and during intercourse.
According to my data 4.3% of men who suffered from PE ejaculated while changing sexual position and 20.4% lost erection hardness while changing position. Many of my clients who either lost their erection or ejaculated prematurely during intercourse reported loss of control soon after changing their sexual position.
PE or ED can happen during a change of sexual position when you:
- Focus too much attention on the physical mechanics of changing your position
- Focus too much attention on how horny you feel or how arousing your partner is
- Worry about how the change of position will affect your penis when you penetrate
To stop PE or ED from happening when you change your sexual position you must correctly balance your sexual focus. Specifically, this means balancing your sexual focus between the physical action of changing position (this gives you ejaculation control) and maintaining awareness of some good feeling to maintain erection hardness.
How to correctly balance your sexual focus throughout foreplay, penetration and intercourse so you can prevent PE and ED from occurring is explained in my Sex Mastery program for men.
Being able to satisfy their partner and restoring a happy and satisfying sex life is a priority for most men suffering from PE and ED.
Best Sex Positions for PE
Premature ejaculation occurs when a man focuses too much attention on arousal. This can include his own feelings of arousal as well as how arousing his partner is to him. Therefore the best sex positions for PE provide an emphasis on maintaining balance and connection; the physical actions of sex.
Best Sex Positions for ED
Erectile dysfunction occurs when a man doesn’t focus enough of his attention on enjoying his own arousal. Therefore the best sex positions for ED put the emphasis on generating more awareness of feeling instead of just focusing on the actions of fulfilling his partner.
The Most Important Sex Position for PE and ED
The most important sexual positioning for a man with PE or ED (or both) is the position of his mind. When his mind is distracted with thoughts about “the problem” he is not focused on the task in front of him which means that anything can happen.
Performance anxiety is caused by an incomplete sexual education resulting in not knowing what to focus your attention on. As a man, it occurs sexually when you feel yourself starting to lose your erection or lose ejaculation control and don’t know what to switch your focus from, and to.
Many men swing wildly from one end of the arousal scale to the other, for example, starting with PE and then developing ED or vice versa due to overcompensating. This makes sex even more stressful for all concerned.
Secondary problems can be as long-lasting as the original PE or ED problem.
In my experience, the majority of primary and secondary premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction issues can be resolved with the correct knowledge and technique. However, when resolving these issues it’s important to not put too much pressure on yourself to perform.
Therefore, I recommend starting with one sexual position and then as you gain confidence with that position, start experimenting with others.
Always use a small amount of lube such as coconut oil to make penetration easier.
Missionary Sex Positions for PE and ED
When you hear of the missionary position it may seem vanilla or boring, however there are wrong ways of engaging in missionary positions. By simply correcting your technique you will make a huge difference in desire and engagement.
The following techniques for missionary positions can provide you with control and connection.
By far the best missionary position for PE and ED is the elbow plank missionary. Unlike the full plank missionary where your arms are fully extended, this elbow plank sex position enables you to get up close and personal and achieve a nice rhythmical action without compromising balance and stability.
It's important to never do the missionary position with your arms fully extended (full plank) as this will put you off balance and unable to achieve a regular rhythm which can lead to PE or ED. Additionally, it can be too much distance for your female partner to enjoy a fulfilling emotional connection.
The elbow plank missionary is one of the best sex positions to regain confidence in your sexual ability. Due to the slight bend in your knees and your weight being distributed evenly on your forearms, this sexual position makes it easy to keep your balance and maintain a nice, even rhythm.
Here are step-by-step instructions for two of the best plank missionary positions for PE and ED, with a choice of male or female on top:
Elbow Plank Missionary for PE and ED - Male on Top
With your partner lying on her back, approach her on your knees and position yourself in between her legs, with your knees positioned approximately at the level of her knees. This may vary depending on your height and hers. Then place one hand either side of her shoulders and with your knees slightly bent, lower yourself to your forearms so your weight is evenly distributed.
Make sure your partner is comfortable, she may need to adjust herself so that she is aligned with you (straight). This is important because if she is uncomfortable it can distract her to the point that she may not reach orgasm.
When your partner is comfortable and your upper body is positioned comfortably, adjust the position of your legs so you have less bend in your knees. How much bend you have in your knees will depend on the belly size of you and your partner and can be adjusted if either of you lose weight.
Your partner can rest her feet on the back of your lower legs, wrap them around your torso, or position them straight if she has knee problems. This variation of the elbow plank missionary position can be the best sex position for a woman with an injured knee.
Plank Missionary for PE and ED - Female on Top
If your partner prefers to be on top, use this sexual position as it is one of the best up close and personal positions for a woman. Executed correctly, the female elbow plank missionary can either be deliciously arousing or give you complete control depending on how you are balancing your sexual focus.
Instead of the usual woman on top sexual position where she sits and straddles you with her knees mostly bent, she distributes her weight evenly between her forearms and knees with her forearms placed above your shoulders, either side of your head.
Women can generally maintain this position for a longer period and much more comfortably without her knees cramping up. This is important because it helps you to maintain control of your own arousal levels without interruption.
She bends her knees at an easy 45-90-degree angle and positions herself between your hips and chest (depending on your height). After you have inserted your penis, slowly guide her so she is leaning forward with her forearms holding her weight and her knees providing an easy hinge to move in a backwards and forwards rhythm with ease. She can wriggle slightly backwards for a more secure fit.
As her partner, you support her with your hands on either side of her upper body or hips, helping her to keep balance and maintain an even rhythm.
In a variation of this female missionary plank position, your partner can clasp her hands together with her forearms on your pillow, forming an upside-down V shape behind your head. This position squeezes her breasts together to rub against your chest to provide additional stimulation as you support each other in maintaining an even rhythm.
Missionary Plank is the Best Sex Position for Fitness
The elbow plank missionary position is one of the best sex positions for fitness and strength training as it strengthens your core as well as providing a full body weight workout.
To be able to truly last longer in bed, it’s wise to also do push-up exercises outside of sex including planks and elbow planks to build up the muscle groups supporting sex and to increase your sexual stamina. This will truly maximise your ability to stay hard and in control so you can last the desired duration of sex.
Cuddle Position: PE and ED Face to Face Spooning
Known as the Cuddle Position, face-to-Face Spooning is one of the best sexual positions for PE and ED. It’s also a great sex position for women, as it allows for maximum g-spot stimulation.
This position provides an easy way for you to focus on your emotional as well as sexual connection with your partner. What’s really cool is that it’s quite straight-forward to transition from the Elbow Plank Missionary position into the Cuddle Position and back again.
Start in the Plank Missionary position explained in the first section, with yourself on top. Your weight is distributed evenly between your forearms which take most of your weight. Knees are slightly bent and resting on the bed to provide balance. Either your penis remains inserted or you reinsert it with your hand after completing the change of position.
Now make sure that your partner's arms are wrapped around you (under your arms and at your waist level, or with one of her arms under your arm and the other around your neck). With your partner securely attached to you, slowly roll onto your side so your head is on the pillow. Keep your lower leg slightly bent to provide stability.
It can be helpful to remove your partner's pillow, so your head is slightly elevated from your partner, which can make kissing more delicious and comfortable.
Face-to-face spooning ends up with both of you comfortably hugging each other with the feeling of deep penetration.
This position enables you to execute a grinding, side-to-side motion which is almost like drawing circles inside her with your penis. This on-off slide across her g-spot is intensely stimulating for a woman, while being mutually satisfying due to the ultimate feeling of power and connection.
You can also use the standard in/out motion in this position or vary between in/out and circular movements for variety.
As well as a great way to maintain your emotional connection, face-to-face spooning is one of the best sexual positions if you have a downward or upward curve in your penis.
Best Sex Position for a Curved Penis
Having a bent or curved penis can be an unwanted distraction for both partners and can easily triple a man's performance anxiety. It's common for an upward, downward or sideways bend in your penis to contribute to PE or ED due to excessive (or not enough) awareness of stimulation.
One of the best sex positions for a curved penis, face-to-face spooning can provide a satisfying way to engage sexually until you fix the bend in your penis which is ultimately the ideal scenario for both you and your partner.
A curved penis makes it challenging to navigate penetration and difficult to reinsert if it slides out during intercourse. Unlike other sexual positions, face-to-face spooning makes it easier to initiate a side-to-side grinding motion or to draw circles with your penis so you can both experience stimulation without worry of having to re-insert.
Sex Positions for Women
Considering that up to 75% of women have problems reaching orgasm during intercourse, it's important to note that a female partner may struggle to reach an orgasm if you are stopping and starting or frequently changing sexual position.
Face to Face Spooning (the Cuddle Position) and elbow plank Missionary Positions with either male or female on top are some of the best sex positions for women. These good sex positions provide closeness, intimacy, direct g-spot stimulation and the ultimate feeling of connection.
The Best Rhythm and Timing for PE and ED
It’s important to engage your partner with satisfying rhythm and timing. This requires coordinating your thrusting movements. Think of it as “Meet and Greet” where you both meet at the inward thrust and then pull away at the same time. If you are using a circular or spiral movement, you spiral or circle in one way, your partner spirals or circles in the opposite way – but you are still meeting at the inward thrust. This action will make it feel like you are completely in sync with each other.
How Fast Should I Thrust if I Have PE or ED?
This will mostly depend on your partner. Many women prefer a slow, even rhythm until they are nearing orgasm. Then they will speed up. Make sure that you’re starting with a slower rhythm, but instead of pre-empting when she wants faster, pay attention to her body language, and match her rhythm. Speed up when she speeds up. Slow down when she slows down.
You can switch it up by changing from an in/out movement to a spiral or circular motion which moves on and off her g-spot.
Remember that physical fitness plays a role here. If you are starting to tire, simply move into a position which gives you more of a rest, like the Cuddle Position (face-to-face spooning).
PE and ED Practice for the Best Sex Positions
A great way to practice coordinating a rhythmical thrusting movement is to arrange some pillows or cushions on the bed to represent a female body. Position your hands on either side of her "shoulders" and bend your knees so you are in a crawl position.
Make sure you are aligned with her imaginary body, so you are both positioned straight. (Always do this when you are with a real person, too.)
Now lower yourself to your forearms and as you do this, move your knees further down the bed so your body height is lower. This would mean that your knees are positioned further down her body (between her legs) and it will vary, depending on her height and yours.
When you are comfortably positioned, initiate an even thrusting motion with your hips by moving your hips up and down. This will create an in/out movement.
In Summary of the Best Sex Positions for PE and ED
The best sex positions for PE and ED provide the right kind of stimulation, closeness, intimacy, and an undistracted feeling of connection. I’m not saying you can’t use other positions, however, I do recommend you start with these. As well as providing a better degree of control and connection, the elbow plank missionary and cuddle position enable you to see your partner to gauge and encourage their participation.
Remember to be open to what your partner wants and adjust your speed according to (her) preference. Most women prefer a steady, even rhythm as it helps them stay focused on enjoying the act. While she may want you to go slow at penetration time and soon after, as she becomes more turned on, she may ask you to go faster.
Pay attention to her body language and most importantly, stay connected. If your penis falls out at any stage, simply guide it back in with your hand.
As you can see, knowledge of correct sexual technique goes a long way to restoring sexual confidence. The insights in this blog post are taken from my medically endorsed Sex Mastery: Hard AND in Control online program which is 100% private and confidential. This proven online program explains my unique step-by-step method for getting hard, staying hard, and being in complete control of when you ejaculate so you can restore a happy and satisfying sex life for you and your partner.