The 3 Best Sexual Positions for Couples Over 40, 50 and 60

The Most Popular Sexual Positions for Couples

I'm often asked about sexual positioning and the best sex positions for older couples. The reality is that the best sexual positions stand the test of time, and with a few variations will enhance your sex life at every age. These are the best sex positions in my opinion as they provide closeness, intimacy, stimulation and feelings of connection for couples of all ages.

best sexual positions for older couples

Common distractions for older couples include pain or discomfort caused by certain sexual positions, so I've included a section later in this post which includes some valuable tips for avoiding injuries during sex... as well as simple tips to fix common pain issues you may be experiencing.

It's important to note that many women will struggle to reach orgasm if their partner is constantly changing sexual position. So rather than aiming for many positions which can result in sexual failure, you can gain more benefit from introducing the best sex positions for both partners to experience the most amazing connection.

Losing focus while changing your sexual position can cause sexual “malfunctions” such as premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction (loss of erection hardness) and being unable to reach orgasm. These common sexual function issues are most often caused by a mental contamination problem caused by not knowing how to correctly balance your sexual focus. This is what I correct in my Sex Mastery programs for men and women. 

These best sexual positions for older people are the best sex positions for couples of all ages, and are especially beneficial after experiencing injuries.  

The Best Sexual Positions for Couples Over 50
#1. Variations of the Elbow Plank Missionary Position

Due to age or injury, older couples tend to have less flexibility and the best sex positions need to take this into account. Evenly distributing your weight over your joints during sex makes it much easier to maintain a satisfying rhythm.

I don’t just recommend the Elbow Plank Missionary Position for couples who are over 50 - I recommend it to all of my clients! It is by far the most engaging for both men and women alike. Due to the slight bend in your knees and your weight being distributed evenly, this sexual position requires less physical fitness, is easy to maintain and favored by young as well as older couples.

This sex position enables both of you to easily match rhythm. The variation of woman on top is very passionate because you are both perfectly balanced while kissing and maintaining an even rhythm. Super sexy!

TIP: It's important to never do the Missionary Position with your arms fully extended as this will put you off balance and unable to achieve a regular rhythm. Additionally, it's too much distance for your female partner to enjoy a fulfilling emotional connection. Jiggling breasts can distract a man to the point of ejaculating prematurely if he doesn't know how to balance his sexual focus.

Plank Missionary Position with Man on Top:

In this Elbow Plank Missionary position, the man’s weight is distributed evenly between his forearms which provide a stable fulcrum and take most of his weight. His knees are slightly bent and resting on the bed to balance him, and to create a hinge for initiating a steady, rhythmical movement.

The woman rests her feet on the back of her partner’s lower legs for traction. This position prevents his weight from squashing her whilst allowing easy intimacy and closeness for both partners.

Detailed instructions for these sexual positions, including how to transition between positions and the best rhythm and timing are included in this post: The Best Sexual Positions for PE and ED

Plank Missionary Position with Woman on Top

missionary position woman on top

This best elbow plank sexual position can also be reversed so the woman is on top. This is one of my favorite up close and personal sexual positions for a woman and it is much easier on her knees. Instead of the usual woman on top position where she sits and straddles him with her knees mostly bent, she too, distributes her weight evenly between her forearms and knees with her forearms placed above his shoulders, either side of his head. 

Her knees are bent at an easy 45-90 degree angle positioned between his hips and chest (depending on his height). After they insert his penis, she leans forward with her forearms holding her weight and her knees providing an easy fulcrum to move in a backwards and forwards rhythm with ease. Her partner supports her with each hand on either side of her upper body or hips, helping her to maintain an even rhythm. 

Variation of Missionary Position with Woman on Top

In this variation of the female missionary plank position, the woman clasps her hands together, forming an upside-down V shape behind her partner's head. This position squeezes her breasts together to rub against her partner's chest to provide additional stimulation as they maintain an even rhythm.

Best Sex Tip for Overweight People in the Missionary Position

What's great about these variations of the Missionary position is that whoever is on top, can adjust the bend in their knees to account for any extra weight either partner may be carrying. More bend for bigger bellies and if either partner loses weight, the person on top simply reduces the amount of bend in their knees.

Related Reading: (Or continue with the best sexual positions below)

#2. Spooning is the Best Sexual Position for Couples Over 60 - and Check My Best Variation of Spooning for Couples of ALL Ages

If you want an alternative to the Elbow Plank Missionary Position, or just want some variation in sexual positioning, the next best thing is Spooning. While the usual spooning position is facing away from each other, face-to-face spooning is something really special.

The spooning position requires both of you to lay on your side as though you are cuddling. The woman can keep both legs together, or drape her upper leg over her partner’s leg to enable him easier access. I will describe Face-to-Face Spooning in detail below.

best sexual position couples over 60

Comfort is really important in maintaining desire for sex, especially as we age. When a sexual position is causing either partner pain or discomfort, it can prevent both partners from enjoying sex. You’re either worrying that your partner is uncomfortable or you’re trying not to think about the pain you are in. This can lead to a sexual “malfunction” as you start giving your brain conflicting messages!

TIP: The Inner vaginal dryness experienced by a large percentage of women over 40 can lead to excruciating pain and discomfort during penetration. This female malady can be easily resolved in this blog post with my Inner Vaginal Flush Technique.

I have helped many couples restore a happy and satisfying sex life by modifying their sexual positions as well as correcting their sexual focus. When we give our brain signals that are relevant to the sexual outcome we desire: eg, hard erection, in control of ejaculation, libido turn on, reach an orgasm; then our brain will provide the resources needed.

Face to Face Spooning is one of the best sexual positions for couples of all ages:

spooning face to face sexual position

The Best Spooning Position for Couples Over 40

You can reverse the spooning cuddle position so you are facing each other. Face-to-Face Spooning is one of the best sexual positions for women, as it allows for maximum g-spot stimulation. This sexual position is super sexy and welcomed by younger as well as older couples. 

Instructions: Start in the Elbow Plank Missionary position explained in the first section, with the male on top. His weight is distributed evenly between his forearms which provide a stable fulcrum and takes most of his weight. His knees are slightly bent and resting on the bed to provide balance and to create a hinge for initiating a steady, rhythmical movement.

Then he needs to make sure that his partner's arms are wrapped around him (under his arms and at his waist level, or one arm wrapped around his neck). With his partner securely attached to him, he then slowly rolls onto his side so his head is on the pillow. His lower leg is bent slightly, to provide stability. Sometimes, removing his partner's pillow so his head is slightly elevated from his partner, makes kissing more delicious and comfortable.

The Best Sex Position for a Bent Penis is Face-To-Face Spooning 

Executed correctly, face-to-face spooning position ends up with both of you comfortably hugging each other with deep penetration. This makes it one of the best sexual positions for a bent penis, as it allows for maximum closeness and stimulation for both partners. The woman can stroke her man's lower back and buttocks and pull him in deeper and closer for g-spot orgasms. 

Face-to-Face Spooning enables her man to execute a grinding, side-to-side motion which is almost like drawing circles inside her with his penis. This on-off slide across her g-spot is intensely stimulating and mutually satisfying, especially if the bend in his penis affects his awareness of sensations. Here's how to fix the bend in your penis naturally without surgery.

Related Reading: (Or continue with the best sexual position tips below)

Best Tip for Avoiding Injuries During Sex for Couples Over 40

How many times have you heard your back click while changing sexual position? As we age, there is less lubrication between our joints, resulting in a little less flexibility than we had in our 30's!

What this means for us sexually, is less "give" in our joints when changing sexual position. So if we adjust our sexual position without first disengaging our bodies, it can cause our back to go out of alignment. 

I know it's tempting to stay locked together in a moment of passion and try to wriggle your way into another position, but this will load up your joints and potentially hurt either or both partners. Feeling out of alignment can also become a mental distraction which can lead to other sexual functions issues including your ability to reach orgasm.

TIP: Make sure you completely disengage from one position before moving into another. Yes, it can appear to be not as sexy, but well worth the returns of a regular, happy and fulfilling sex life as you travel through the years!

The Best Sexual Positions for Older People

I once had a couple in their early 40's who flew me to Fiji to fix their sexual problems. He had a lifelong premature ejaculation issue and was also losing his erection hardness during intercourse. She sometimes had problems achieving orgasm during intercourse.

As usual, I was able to easily solve these problems. What was interesting on this occasion was that one of the biggest contributors to the husband’s erectile dysfunction problem was his wife’s favorite sexual position.

She preferred to straddle him on top as this was the best sexual position for her to climax. However, usually after a few minutes her knee would start hurting. In the ensuing untangling of bodies which occurred whilst trying to get into a less aggravating sexual position, her husband would lose his erection. Then they would quickly stimulate him to try and get him back up to full erection hardness. This would cause him to ejaculate. They were both in their mid-forties and sex was already becoming a stressful event for all concerned.

Whether you are in your 40's, 50's, 60's and above, the best sexual positions require a bit of foresight so they don't cause discomfort during intercourse. Old injuries or a bend in your penis can lead to challenges which is why I included the best sexual position for a bent penis in this post.

If you do happen to put your back out during sex, I've also included another important tip at the end of this post, an effective technique which can help to align your back, and get rid of a lot of the pain which prevents you from enjoying your favourite sexual positions - by making a slight adjustment to how you walk.

#3. This Variation of Spooning is the Best Sexual Position for Couples Over 70

This comfortable position is up close and personal, and allows for many padded variations. It's ideal for people who have less flexibility, injuries or pain issues. Either partner can use additional pillows to prop up or cushion, various parts of their body.

best spooning position for couples over 70

She can place a thick pillow between her legs (with her upper leg positioned higher and more forward on the pillow) to enable a clear passage to her vagina. The more she rolls forward, the more her body weight is supported by the pillows.

She may also wedge a cushion to support her upper back. This can also help if her partner is experiencing back pain, although she needs to leave enough room for her man to enter. Draping her top leg over his can be helpful when she lays more on her back. He enters her from behind on an angle. He can also prop pillows behind his back to wedge himself forward.

A full-length body pillow is helpful to provide weight support for both partners.

The #1 Tip for Solving Painful Sexual Positions in Older Adults

While sex can become more challenging as you age, it’s important to end the alignment problem which is causing problems with your preferred sexual positions.

Most articles which explain how to have better sex as you age focus on the best sexual position for an older man, the best sexual position for an older woman, the best sex positions for older lovers… without taking into account that if you solve the misalignment problem, you can often solve the pain-related problems which prevent you from engaging in your favorite sexual position!

Solve the misalignment problem and you can more easily engage in your favorite sexual positions regardless of your age. This can help an older man retain a strong erection and assist in controlling the timing of his ejaculation. It enables his partner to more easily reach climax.

The biggest contributor toward ongoing knee, back, hip and neck pain isn’t necessarily caused by an old injury. And it’s not simply a wear and tear issue. Often, it’s caused by an ongoing misalignment which hasn’t been corrected after the original injury healed.

Even a small injury such as a sprained ankle can eventually result in back pain, or a sore knee on the other leg. While this pain may seem to be unrelated, it is often due to the misalignment of your natural gait. This occurred while you were coping with the pain related to something as minor as a sprained ankle.

Change the Way You Walk - So You Can Enjoy Your Favorite Sexual Positions

Human beings are “sprung” creatures. Our joints were designed in a specific way so we can remain completely balanced while we stand, walk, run and jump.  Our most natural and balanced position is to have our feet turned slightly outward. Think 11:05 on a clock face. This positioning also enables us to leap and jump - and to land safely. This is how our feet are naturally positioned until we encounter our first injury.

When we injure ourselves we adjust the way we walk to favor that injury.

For example, if you hurt your ankle, toe or knee. When you walk, you look down and carefully lift your leg forward and then place your foot down. When you look down at your feet when you walk, you will usually place one or both feet in a straight line. This will misalign your ankle joint and load up your knee. This imbalance can then affect the alignment of the rest of your spine.

If your tailbone goes out because you’re left foot is straight when you’re walking, it can cause ongoing pain in your opposite knee!

The same happens when you hurt your back or neck or head. Walking is painful, so you walk slowly and carefully. You often have to pause in between steps because you feel off-balance. This balance issue is often caused by one or both of your feet pointing forward (instead of being splayed slightly outward which naturally provides balance and stability.)

Have you ever noticed how unbalanced you are when you have an injury? 

Now you know why. It’s because one or both feet are facing forward instead of outward. You can go to a chiropractor (and I recommend that you do if you have pain problems) but if you don’t fix the way that you walk, you will continue to have ongoing pain problems.

This is why sex can become so painful as a person ages - you may have endured a lifetime of minor injuries which have resulted in a complete change of gait.

Solve the gait issue, and apply my unique technique to solve the inner vaginal dryness issue which so many women over 40 experience, as well as weak erection or early ejaculation problems that men face, and you can restore a satisfying sex life well into your eighties and nineties.

fix the way you walk for better sex

How to Solve the Alignment Issue So You Can Maintain a Fulfilling Sex Life

Whenever you are walking, focus your attention on splaying your feet slightly outward. Think 11:05 on a clock face. Initially, you will need to look at your feet every now and then to make sure your feet haven’t turned back in out of habit. It can help to imagine you are drawing a straight line forward with each ankle bone as you step forward.

Hinge from your waist as you walk. This will initiate the forward movement. This natural hinge action at your waist (when your feet are turned slightly out) aligns and lubricates the joints from your feet to the top of your skull. Roll each foot from heel to the toe.

Allow your arms to be relaxed - your arms will sway with the opposite leg by the natural hinge created at the waist. As you step forward on your right, the hinge at your waist will also swing your left arm forward. Like a marching girl, but with the hinge at your waist initiating all movement.

You may find this technique rapidly resolves many of your pain issues.*

*Disclaimer: I was taught this unique method of walking by a Tohunga (native teacher, mentor). He overcame severe back, head and foot injuries with this method he developed, after he was hit by a drunk driver while cycling and told by the medical specialists that he would probably never walk again. That accident was over 35 years ago. Now over 70, he is still fully mobile and shares this method with every person he sees who is “walking funny”.

In Summary

The best sexual positions for couples over 50 require some forethought as well as hindsight! To maintain a great sex life, you need to correctly align your focus. This includes inside as well as outside the bedroom! You can eliminate a lot of joint pain by adjusting how you walk, and engaging in sexual positions which evenly distribute your weight. 

Another thing to take into consideration for maintaining a healthy body and sex life are the foods you eat. The foods you should avoid if you want to have great sex also apply to maintaining healthy and mobile joints. Sex can be enjoyed well into your eighties and nineties when you have the correct strategies in place.

Prepare for sex by solving any issues with your gait. Gain the right procedures for solving sexual dysfunctions such as weak erections, early ejaculation, lack of interest and problems reaching orgasm in my Sex Mastery programs for men and women so sex is enjoyable for the both of you. 

Psychosexual Relationship Specialist and published author, Jacqui Olliver has helped thousands of men, women and couples restore emotional and sexual satisfaction in their lives. Click here to check out her programs or to book a complimentary strategy session.

Display comments

  • I’m 24 and for me some sex positions are really painful but my BF likes it and I can’t say NO to him. Please advice.

    • Hi Danielle, is his size an issue for you? Using an external lubricant such as coconut oil is super-important as it will reduce friction on penetration. Your boyfriend may also have received his sex education from porn, (wrong sexual imprinting) so encourage him to slow down and give you a slower and more even rhythm as you find it more enjoyable.

  • Your suggestion to try face to face spooning is working very well for me with my bent penis. I find this sex position very satisfying.

  • We are a couple in late forties and we have an amazing sex life. The sexual positions you’ve shared in this post sound great and we will try them for sure.

  • Earlier we were using sexual positions not suitable for our age. Since we have been following your suggestions we are enjoying sex so much more.

  • My favorite position is missionary but my husband wants to try out new positions. We are a couple in late forties with joint problems. These look like comfortable positions for us to try out, thank you.

  • Your tips have helped me immensely. Now I can enjoy all the mentioned sex positions at the age of 50. Thanks!

  • I’m a female in my late forties and I enjoy my man being on top. I feel it is the best position to have sex with a woman of my age.

  • I broke my ribs in an accident so it is painful for me to have sex. Please suggest me a best sexual position considering my condition.

    • Hi George, best to wait for your ribs to heal before you engage in intercourse as all those muscles connecting to your lower rib cage are engaged in the thrusting movement.

  • Hello.This post was really remarkable, especially because I was investigating for thoughts on this issue last couple of days.

  • What to do when your wife is on top and she drives her hips into yours which makes it almost impossible for you to move. While making her feel wonderful you feel distressed from the amount of pressure and the struggle of getting her to get higher up so you can enjoy an orgasm as well. I love her dearly, but I feel like I’m being pinned to the mat while she’s on top. A different position maybe or a little more participation by her would maybe helpful.

    Desperate for an orgasm,

    • Hi Lewis, have you discussed this with her? If she doesn’t fully understand the problem, you will continue to experience it. This requires further explanation than a grunt and trying to shift her higher up during sex! As explained in the “Plank Missionary With Woman On Top”, she can ride you like a jockey on a horse, where she is positioned higher up, not on your hips. I recommend sharing this blog post with her so she fully understands what is required of her.

      Flexing her pelvic floor as she rides you will increase her awareness of sensations, she doesn’t need full movement (including pinning you to the mat) to stimulate awareness of sensations.

  • These sexual positions are really helpful. I am 50 plus and I am having an amazing sex life.

    • Hi Emilia, the best sexual position for back problems can depend on where the pain is at its worst. Look at supporting your upper body weight and keeping some bend in your knees to more evenly distribute your weight. It can also be helpful to place a cushion underneath your partner’s pelvis to make access easier.

  • My sex life was not that happening but after discussing with Jacqui I can say that my sex life is way much better than it used be. The sex positions she suggested are working very well. Thanks!

  • I and my wife are in our late fifties. We enjoy sex a lot and as mentioned by Jacqui “plank position” is the best sex position for couple of our age.

  • Hi! I am 55! I tried spooning with my partner and really enjoyed a lot. I felt after crossing the age of 50 sex is no longer a pleasure but thanks to Jacqui’s article and program for changing my perception completely.

  • Thanks Jacqui! The positions which you have mentioned in your article seem to be fruitful to me and my wife.

  • Hi! The Plank Missionary Position is working best for me and my husband as we enjoy sex a lot in that position.

  • Thanks, Jacqui Olliver, it has been a great post especially for me. Now I am very much hopeful regarding my sexual life.

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