How to Fix Sex Problems

How common are sexual intimacy issues? 

I was recently speaking with a client about how to fix sex problems and was asked how common it is for couples to be affected by sexual problems. Did you know that up to 80% of people are affected by sexual intimacy issues either directly or with a partner?

From health, to medical to self-help and relationship podcasts, I’m often told by the host that when their podcast topic is about sex, it’s one of the most downloaded shows of all time.

how to fix intimacy problems

From experiencing a low libido, inner vaginal dryness and pain, and problems reaching an orgasm; to ejaculating early, or not being able to get or stay hard; many men and women find completing a sexual act challenging and want to know how to fix their sex problems.

The statistics are staggering:

  • WebMD reports 43% of women and 31% of men experiencing some degree of difficulty with sexual function.
  • In this study the combined prevalence of minimal, moderate and complete erectile dysfunction in men aged between 40 and 70 years was 52%.
  • But it's not just older men, a report published by the Cleveland Clinic states that 40% of men under the age of 40 are affected by erectile dysfunction.
  • Additional studies have shown that most cases of impotence (erectile dysfunction) are due to psychological factors.
  • A recent study conducted with 7,000 women in Australia aged 18-39 years old indicated that 52% of women are unhappy or stressed about their sex life.

What's really interesting from my research is that 90% of men and women experiencing sexual dysfunction don't seek medical help... and for those who do seek medical treatment, another study has shown that 91.5% report little or no improvement as a result.

It’s time to understand your situation and get real answers on how to fix sex problems!

In this post, I’ll reveal insights on what you are accidentally doing to cause sexual failure or a lack of sex - and how to get started on restoring a happy and satisfying sex life today.

Why are sex problems so prevalent?

As youngsters, we were given a great deal of instruction and guidance. From learning to walk, to eating from a spoon, to learning to drive a car as a teen; we received step-by-step instructions. However, when it came to sex, the precise knowledge and guidance we craved was not forthcoming.

While sex education provides essential knowledge on sexual health and safe sex, it’s sadly lacking in the essential rules, requirements and boundaries for engaging sexually. This results in a large chunk of people wondering how to fix sex problems.

Ongoing confusion surrounding the sexual act is mainly due to misinformation and a lack of relevant “how to” knowledge so there is much guesswork involved. This leads to random or ongoing instances of sexual failure as the person tries to figure out what the missing link is.

negative effects of intimacy issues

The negative side-effects of sex problems in a relationship

I’m sure you are already aware of how unresolved sex problems negatively affect a relationship, so I’ll just touch on a few points to demonstrate the importance of solving these sooner rather than later!

Loss of confidence associated with sex problems frequently leads to:

1. Becoming emotionally needy which leads to lack of desire in your partner
2. Either or both partners avoiding sex (which causes further performance anxiety)
3. Communication breakdown (due to not understanding what the problem is)
4. Porn instead of partner to avoid causing disappointment,
5. Loss of libido in either or both partners

In many cases, one sexual problem will morph into two or more, as the afflicted partner tries to deal with the issue by themselves, battling for control over their arousal levels. This causes a great deal of frustration for the partner who senses disconnection and cannot complete the act, while the other continues to search for answers on how to fix sex problems. 

Sexual problems are often misunderstood by partners.

A partner can quickly become part of the problem when they wrongly perceive what’s going on. The following are some common examples.

For men who ejaculate prematurely, it is the belief of many a partner that their man is selfish and is only thinking of his own needs. This is usually the farthest from reality! There is nothing a man with an early ejaculation problem wants more than to be able to please his partner, but he just cannot last long enough to do this.

When a man has problems getting hard, or loses his erection hardness, many a partner starts believing that he’s no longer attracted to them or doesn’t love them - or is having an affair! This is rarely the case. Most men with ED are totally committed to fulfilling their partner but are confused about how to maintain a strong erection in the process.

For a woman who has problems reaching an orgasm, it’s common for her libido to drop away over the years, as she loses her desire to engage sexually. This is often due to her perceived failure of her inability to be “normal” and to be able to feel fulfilled sexually. 

No-one wants to feel like they are failing, and constantly having to think about how to fix sex problems eats away at a person’s self-esteem and overall desire for sex, which can lead to depression as well as relationship breakdown.

how to solve sex problems

Are your sex problems related to your partner?

They can be. When one partner has an issue, their partner’s focus will often become contaminated too. Sometimes there is a discrepancy in a partner’s desire to participate in sexual fantasy play. This can put one partner off from engaging sexually, as well as causing functional issues in the other due to their mind being distracted.

Many women experience inner vaginal dryness which makes sexual penetration painful and uncomfortable. Another 46% have problems reaching orgasm, especially during intercourse.

Sex can be frustratingly hard work for a man when his partner is unable to climax, as he must remain hard and in control for the entire duration of sex. This includes during foreplay, so he is ready when his partner decides it’s time for him to penetrate.

Ongoing problems can result in a lack of enthusiasm and put a damper on both partner’s desire to engage sexually. Eventually this lack of desire can lead to a sexless marriage.

A sexless marriage is not an ideal relationship for the partner who struggles to feel fulfilled. Without knowing how to fix sex problems and restore satisfaction, some partners may start seeking emotional or sexual fulfillment outside of the relationship.

Fixing sex problems requires the correct knowledge

Most therapists are very good at validating your feelings, providing helpful insights, and offering counseling, medications, or techniques to treat the symptoms which can all offer some degree of support. Unfortunately, they do not address the “root cause” of sex problems and emotional connection issues which is using the wrong technique at the wrong time.

This is what I correct… and it’s time to restore your sexual confidence.

how to fix intimacy issues

Will controlling my sensitivity fix my sex problems?

A lot of information you will find in your search to fix your sex problems is incorrect, incomplete, or misleading. There are a lot of confusing techniques you will find (different than mine) so let me clarify the sensitivity issue for you. Using wrong techniques (or right techniques with wrong timing) will continue to confuse your brain.

The truth is that how you direct your focus and actions will have a direct result on your awareness of sensitivity.

Nearly every male I have treated for premature ejaculation (PE) thought his penis was too sensitive. This was only happening because most of his attention was focused on it; constantly feeding his brain a stream of arousing signals quickly over stimulates the male brain sexually and causes him to ejaculate.

A man suffering from a premature ejaculation problem requires less focus on himself and more focus on his partner… but his attention needs to be applied in a very specific way, otherwise he can start losing his erection hardness, which is a classic example of one problem morphing into two.

Conversely, every man experiencing weak erections (known as erectile dysfunction and ED) thinks his penis is not sensitive enough! With most of his attention focused on his partner, his brain doesn’t receive enough arousing signals. Therefore, he has problems achieving a hard erection, loses his erection or has difficulty reaching ejaculation.

A male suffering from erectile dysfunction requires less focus on his partner and more focus on himself… but too much focus on himself can cause him to ejaculate early!

Most women who have problems reaching orgasm have a brain contaminated with thoughts not related to completing the sexual act. Wondering if she turned the oven off, wishing she could adjust her body position or if her partner would change something about their technique… Unrelated to enhancing her awareness of sensations, her brain switches off the orgasm program.

So how do men and women fix these sex problems?

Balancing your sexual focus is imperative.

sexual function goal

To regain control sexually you need to understand how to correctly balance your sexual focus throughout foreplay, penetration and intercourse. This ensures your brain receives the correct ratio of sexual signals to move you along the arousal scale in a controlled and satisfying manner.

Knowing the step-by-step guide to balancing your sexual focus will neutralize sexual anxiety while simultaneously restoring confidence in your ability to fulfill and be fulfilled.

Enjoyable sex made easy.

Imagine a sex life which provides both mutual emotional as well as sexual fulfilment? A sex life where both of you feel fulfilled! Where you and your partner go to sleep feeling happy and content and wake up feeling connected?

Forget the diet and exercise myth and other misleading information. I am confident to say that with the correct procedures in place, the vast majority of people can restore a relaxed, happy and satisfying sex life in a timely manner.

Knowing the step-by-step answers to solve your problem will neutralize sexual anxiety as well as simultaneously restore confidence in your ability to fulfill and be fulfilled.

With this correct knowledge and technique you can solve sex problems, prevent age-related issues (including inner vaginal dryness and prostate problems) and restore emotional and sexual peace.

how to solve intimacy issues in your relationship

Why trust me? Because I have been there.

Throughout the first 30 years of my life, I was desperate to know how to fix sex problems. Therefore, I completely relate to and understand the pressure and frustrations experienced by people in or out of relationships who are unable to relax in the most intimate moments of connection with another… how mentally devastating it is to feel incomplete as a person and to feel like a failure as a human being. 

You can read more about my story here. I am confident that with the correct knowledge and actionable techniques I provide; you can swiftly resolve your sexual challenges without drugs, like the many others I have already helped. 

In my programs I explain how to correctly balance your sexual focus to restore your sexual confidence. When you have the correct sexual procedures that your brain requires leading up to and including foreplay, penetration, and intercourse, sex becomes enjoyable and fun!

Imagine being able to easily feel turned on and orgasm without any problems?

As a female, this knowledge with application of my specific technique enables you to get turned on, stay turned on and more easily reach an orgasm. It also enables you to self-lubricate your inner vaginal walls to ensure easy penetration and enjoyable sex regardless of your age.

Imagine being able to get hard on demand, penetrate without any problems, and only ejaculate when your partner wants you to? As a male you’ll be able to get a hard erection and then maintain it during foreplay, penetration, and intercourse - and without ejaculating until you both decide it’s the right time.

stop-premature-ejaculation-now

Knowing how to fix sex problems will transform your life! This one-time investment in upgrading to real life sex education will pay for itself many times over in the years to come.

Read More:
The 3 Best Sexual Positions for Couples Over 40, 50 and 60
How to Make Your Hand and Blow Jobs Unforgettable!
Jacqui's Sex Mastery Programs for Men and Women


Psychosexual Relationship Specialist and published author, Jacqui Olliver has helped thousands of men, women and couples restore emotional and sexual satisfaction in their lives. Click here to check out her programs or to book a complimentary strategy session.

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